Tag Archives: couple relationship

Why knowing your spouse’s likes and dislikes matter?

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Marriage is a lifelong commitment, and it needs proper nurturing to sustain. Two people coming together to be joined for matrimony  does not guarantee what the future holds. A mixture of efforts, patience, care, respect, and compromises can sure go a long way. The responsibilities are huge including the finance, housekeeping or childcare and these responsibilities tend to make a couple exhausted.

This exhaustion can tend to fire things up and eventually from time to time; the couple might end up having scuffles and arguments. Although efforts can be made to keep a marriage healthy even after rigorous routines, one of the most important components of a healthy relationship is knowing your spouse throughout.

Make Time to Know Your Spouse
Understanding what he/she dislikes can have perks that one would not imagine. People need to consistently update what they know about the spouse after they have taken their wedding vows. Once you are in the matrimonial bliss, try looking into likes and dislikes of your partner.

Notice what gets the best out of them and what does not. Learning more and more about your partner requires communication as well as persistence, but the results are overwhelming. Looking at things from the perspective of your partner can ensure greater understanding and love.

Knowing your partner minimizes the frequency of disputes. Once you are acquainted with what he/she likes, it becomes easy to choose the course of action. Empathize often and knowing your partner better will provide you with a reasonable explanation for his /her actions.

Be There For Each Other, Understand Each Other!
In some marriages the partners are shy, and their tendency to communicate takes some time to accelerate. The important thing is to never jump the guns. Understand the reason behind the action, and you will not end up frustrated.

The best way to know things about your spouse is communication. Find time to ask questions and answer some. Listen with your whole heart while your spouse shares his/her perspective. This will help to make better decisions regarding your married life. Things will no more look complicated, and friction will be minimized.

The most important result that comes out of knowing what your spouse likes is that you will attain the highest level of understanding. This is not easy to come, but once you are able to reach there, your marriage will grow much stronger and healthy. There will be no scope for misunderstandings and there will one less stress in the routine life.

To Be Understood By Your Partner Is One of the Greatest Feelings in the World
There is more to knowing your spouse than to ask about the favorite color or food. But the fact remains same, Knowing is growing. You can make sure that you do not offend your partner or ignite a fight. You get to know more of a person that is supposed to accompany you through the life.

It makes the partner feel valued and understood. The marriage stays healthy leaving no room for suffocation or frustration. A well-understood partner in collaboration with a well-understanding partner makes the recipe for a perfect marriage and a long-lasting bond.

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Five fun things every couple should do after marriage

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Marriage is one of the cardinal institutions, and the lesson that every married couple must remember and value by heart is “invest in the marriage.” The bond of matrimony matures slowly, and partners need to accept many changes down the line. For instance, the feeling of newness might be worn off, and life might revolve around the cliched decisions involving budget, children, or work schedules.

This is where the investment part of the lesson needs practical enforcement. At this point of matrimony, couples need to invest some time into one other, and they deserve some time together.

Now couples got to shun the expectation that fun will be an outcome of whatever they do. The reality is, having fun is a voluntary choice. And everyone needs to work towards it by investing a little or more time if they want to have fun. You cannot expect to stumble into the fun, but you have to decide on the ways to get some. Take note and reserve some time, try these activities to raise the fun quotient in your married life;

1) Make way for a common hobby
Once the bride and groom period is over, and the routine ensues, the best way to spend some quality time is to pick up a hobby that suits both. Most of the couple make way for yoga classes, gym, or dance classes. Depending on the priorities and time available, the couple should be able to set aside a fun routine wherein the stress stops at the door, and you are out to have some time for just the two of you.

2) Cook a meal together
Now, this might sound cliché, but trust the experts; this is the best fun way to get around that kitchen table and start a cooking experiment. It is like a therapy when both the partners are taking care of this otherwise normal routine and come up with own meal. Cooked together- with love, this meal will set the mood and couple should try to to to do this much often.

3) Go for an outing
You are married, and now you have your own list of responsibilities to share. Then again, take a break because you have to do this for the rest of the life. Pack your bags once in a while, explore a new city. If you are short on time, explore the city you live in, just get out for a treat for those endless conversations with beautiful music playing in the background.

4) Host a party
Friends and relatives always add a new dimension to the matrimony. Host a dinner or lunch, so that all of you sit together and laugh your hearts out. The stress is relieved, and the couple will always value having each other’s back on such occasions. Admit it, the admiration of your guests for the food or the beautiful plates will make your partner suddenly more attractive.

5) Watch a movie together
After a long week, when you are too tired to move out for a dinner date or any outing, the best way is to plug in your or your partner’s favorite flick and get the evening going. Cuddle and watch that movie you were planning since last two months. Take time and cut yourselves some slack

There is so much more you can do to ensure that the fun never leaves. Make sure you take out some time and give some of the activities a try. Keep your marriage healthy today, tomorrow and till the end of time!

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The Psychological Secrets to a “Happy Marriage”

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Since centuries the role of matrimony has been discussed, dissected and discoursed upon, ad nauseam! Since time immemorial philosophers, poets, religious leaders, spiritualists, psychologists and social anthropologists alike have tried to solve the mystery question to what constitutes a happy matrimony. Cynics have even called that phrase an impossible oxymoron. However, the office of marriage still thrives amidst every culture and people still want to know, “What are the secrets to a guaranteed happy marriage?”

Good news and bad news! The bad news (actually not!) is that there is no given secret formula to it. The good news is every couple has the secret within their own unique dynamic to make it so, IF they put in effort to maintain certain psychological and emotional wellness of the relationship.

Equality

In most pockets of India, even today the man and the woman within marriage are not considered equals. However, a marriage is a bond between two equal shareholders. A matrimony  where both partners aren’t self assured enough to treat the other person as their equal, without feeling threatened or defensive, is bound to undergo deterioration over time.
In our culture, people at times quote ancient religious texts and mythologies at times to justify the lesser or subservient role of a wife to her husband. But every Indian groom and bride must also remember the equally opposite legacy of “equality within marriage”, depicted in the same ancient texts. Our Puranas clearly talk about Shiva and Shakti being equal and same. In any wedlock, that same essence needs to be recreated for a mutually respectful and happy long haul.

Friendship

The greatest emotional foundation to a Happy Marriage is – surprise! – not great chemistry, nor family affluence, nor any other version of compatibility – rather it’s ‘Friendship’. In Buddhism there’s a beautiful word for Love, called Maitri. Maitri essentially means ‘Loving Friendliness’ that one holds, feels and deliberately practices towards their object of Love. Imagine if you first and foremost forge a deep friendship with your spouse, and are committed to treat him or her as your Best Friend, how easy the rest of the matrimonial nuances would automatically become. Things that you would never do to your best friend now translates into things you would never even feel like doing within the sacred wedlock. Hurt, manipulative behaviors, abuse, violence in speech or action, losing interest, betrayal, cheating – some if these potent marriage killers by default lose out moment partners build their matrimonial life in a deep friendship with each other.

Compassion

To have compassion for anyone implies extending them your patient listening, your tolerant understanding, your proactive presence to ease their struggles in every manner. In every culture, all religious leaders and cultural voices have hailed Compassion as a vital game changer for everything in life. Same goes for a happy married life. Practicing compassion towards one’s spouse doesn’t equate to pitying them as weak but to treat them as one’s own self and be there for them as one would fit themselves. This psychological stance radically strengthens any wedding bond.

Non reaction

No, we aren’t talking about passive aggressive non-reaction or silent treatment! We are talking about a calm and detached objectivity that can save any relationship from every interpersonal crisis, more so within a marriage relationship. Hasty judgments, hissing jealousy, incorrect conclusions drawn and reactive speeches have ruined more marriages than any other practical issues. For both partners to develop an attitude of calm non-reaction and “Practising the Pause” before addressing an issue goes a long way in forging deeper trust, better communication and more effective partnership.

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Ten ways to keep the spark going

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In a country like ours, matrimony  is holy. It should be because you enter into a bond between souls with a promise to strive for a better life. Though the relationship is vitally important, it is not challenge-proof. Couples have their ups and downs while they try to settle down into this new relationship. Newness fades into small disagreements, but this should never mean that the spark is gone. The transition from passionate love to compassionate love requires efforts, and these efforts should come from both. Try the following ways to give the spark a shot once the honeymoon period is over.

1) Bring Back The Date Nights
Now that you have caved into the routine make sure to make your partner feel special, no matter how busy your schedule is. Being complacent is easy but lethal. Take your partner away to his/her favorite restaurant once in a while to rediscover the special fun of dating.

2) Never Forget To Communicate
There is nothing better in any relationship than to admit feelings and share worries. Feel free to talk to your partner if something does not feel right. Listen to their part of the story. Share your dreams and fears, grow together, talk about that bump you faced in the office. Talk about everything.

3) Cultivate a common interest
Watch a sport, read a book, spend time gardening, try knitting. In short, try any of the common interests you share together and watch the bond grow. Marriage is so much more than budgeting and raising a family. It is growing together.

4) Head to the movie theatre
In Indian setups, it is sometimes difficult to get your partner all to yourself. Put out a little effort and get your partner out for a lovely movie, don’t mind if the movie does not turn out to be lovely, be grateful that you spent time together. Then bash the movie together.

5) Help with chores
Nothing is sexier than being caring in any relationship. Take responsibility and make efforts in the kitchen or around the house. This will make your partner feel equal, and you will eventually help the bond grow stronger.

6) Respect Each Other
Respect is food for every marriage. Even if one of the partners is wrong and another loses cool, make sure that you can still look eye to eye after the storm is settled. If you do not respect your partner, others may follow the lead. Respect to be respected.

7) Take On An Adventure
Being married has its perks. You will never have to find another partner for your adventures. Try a new restaurant, go swimming, go to another city. Try something new.

8) Surprise!!!
Try planning something nice for your partner. Pick up some roses on the way home. Write sweet-nothings for him/her. You will put a broad smile on your partner’s face.

9) No Harm In Apologies.
In a long-term relationship, conflicts are obvious. The biggest let-down in such situations is ego and never accepting the fault. Say sorry when you are supposed to. This will not make one weak and another strong but will strengthen the relationship and keep it glowing with a spark.

10) Look Good For Each Other
Last but not least, do not give up on yourself after you get married. Do not stop trying new styles, picking out latest fashion, experimenting with your hair, if you used to. Never stop loving yourself. The love within reflects outside. Entice your spouse in every way you can!

Marriage is beautiful. All that needs to be done is making little efforts. Wake up and try, because trying makes us human. Make this bond as beautiful as it is supposed to be.

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Never Say These Things To Your Spouse When You Fight: Use Stop Button

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Marriage is one of the most blissful relationships. This is not a relationship which is god gifted to you as blood relation, but a relationship which you develop over the period of time be it arranged marriage or love marriage. But, all things have two sides, one is positive and another is not that good. Even in marriage, married couples faces various issues from dealing with day-to-day activities to brutal arguments and fights. While fighting with your spouse you forget about your love and respect, the one thing which overpowers your mind is you want to prove your point right. Therefore, it is important to understand the situation and always fight fair with your spouse. Here are a few things which you should never say to spouse when you are fighting.

Making negative comments about family and friends is always a no-no thing when you are fighting with your spouse. It might irritate him/her more and will add more fire into your arguments. Therefore, try to avoid such statements when you are fighting.

When you are in the middle of any argument or fight, don’t bring the old and dead topics in between. It will mislead you from the main topic and your argument will go in another direction.

Saying anything about the looks and appearance is totally disastrous during the fight. If you will say that he/she looks fat or ugly, it will hurt his/her emotions and will work as sniper.  So, avoid discussing or making comments about looks.

During the fight when you avoid telling the actual problem it is really harmful. If you will not tell the actual reason behind your anger, it will make you feel irritated and agitated. That’s why it is necessary to tell the reason why you get into this argument or the thing which is annoying you.

Most of us make mistake by comparing your couple with other person. It not only hurt his/her emotions, but also gives them a sense that you are not happy with him/her. It might prove more dangerous for your relationship in long term.

Adding comment from your parent’s side or bringing their opinion in your fight can add more fire in your arguments. What your mother thinks over a certain topic or what his father thinks about you/something should not be dragged between your arguments.

No matter how much annoyed you are with your partner and you don’t want to talk with him/her never say that you want to get separate or want to take divorce. Divorce is a big thing and should not be said so easily as a simple way out to deal with the situation.

Never play blame game in your fight. You are not a kid that you need someone to play the blame game to keep your collar clean. During any argument doesn’t play blame game about what you did and what he/she did. Take charge of the situation and avoid blame game.

Don’t make comment that earlier you used to do this, now you are not enjoying the same lifestyle or comforts. It will hurt sentiments of your wife/husband. It might be he/she held himself/herself responsible for this. So making comments about lifestyle and living standard will add more bitterness.

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