When your family starts showing you pics of relevant matches and your marriage is one and the only topic of discussion on the dinner table, it is obvious to get nervous and excited with the thought of leaving your own privacy and comfort to settle down with someone who is completely new to you. That’s how an arranged marriage scenario feels like. You meet prospective matches that have come across from various sources like friends, relatives, online matrimonial sites or more. Essentially whatever be the source, the fact that the prospect is unknown to you prevails.
It’s true that your family would have performed checks at their end before taking up the proposal to you. They would have ensured that the family is well off matching own social standards, the prospect is well educated and professionally settled and various other criteria which can be mapped at a superficial level would have been taken care of. But marriage is not just about social, financial & educational equality; it is much beyond that. There are lot many ingredients that go on to build a happy marriage, which probably can’t be evaluated by family.
Here are a few questions that you must ask during your first one on one meeting with your prospective Indian bride/ Indian groom to understand your compatibility with each other before taking a final call.
1) What are your hobbies and interests?
Though it might seem to be a very basic question to ask, a lot can be inferred from the reply you receive. A person with completely opposite interests than yours could be very difficult to live with. For example, if your partner is an outgoing social person and you are an introvert who loves to confine to yourself and your immediate family, then there could be conflicts when you are together.
2) What are your expectations from your partner?
Knowing the expectations of your prospective partner and making your expectations clear at an initial level is always good as it will help you prepare for the future. Moreover, this topic might surprise you with some unrealistic expectations that your prospective partner might have which you may not be capable enough or willing to deliver. Having a clear stand on such things will avoid any future clashes.
3) What are your future goals and plan?
This is again a very relevant question, both from partners’ perspective. It is as important for a man to know the future plans of his lady as it is important for a lady to know about her man. A highly ambitious career oriented lady who is not willing to sacrifice her career post marriage definitely needs an understanding husband. To find such understanding husband or to be one needs a different mindset that still is rarely prevalent in Indian Scenario.
4) Are you ready to accept responsibility towards both families?
Girls are anyhow expected to take up the responsibility of the new family, but whether the boy is also willing to execute his responsibilities towards his new family? Or is he the same orthodox person who believes that his wife should take care of his parents like her own whereas as a son-in-law he would have no moral responsibility towards his in-laws, i.e. his wife’s parents. This will give you an idea about your partner’s mentality and thought process and can a major influencer on your decision.
5) How do you fantasize your relationship with your partner?
This is to get each other’s perspective about your relationship as a couple. Whether you would like to have a friend in partner with whom you can be yourself and open up your heart without any fear. Though this seems to be an idealistic image but the answer can actually tell you a lot about their mindset and behavior.
