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5 Things About Marriage That You Didn’t Learn at School

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Your education might have prepared you for a lot of things that you may have to face in life from getting a job to building a career and even performing first aid, but what school cannot teach is the reality behind a  matrimony. You will never realize what marriage is unless you get into one, and by the time you realize it, it is probably too late. Well, fret not, because we have here for you some authentic facts about marriage. Try going through them before you start creating profiles on various matrimonial sites.

1.  Marriage is not about your happiness; it is about your partner’s as well.

The sooner you realize this fact, the better because the last thing you want to do in a marriage is to put yourself first. In a marriage, it should also be we, and never I, otherwise you may not call marriage a partnership at all. So, whatever you do, make sure that both you and your partner gain happiness because of your actions.

2. Love is not just a feeling; love is about commitment.

Once you are in a marriage, you should be in for the long haul. It may seem such an easy thing at the start of the marriage, but as time goes on you will come across situations that test your patience and commitment to your marriage. The key is not to give up because if you love your partner; you won’t.

3. “Opposites attract” may not turn out to be true after all

When you are going through the courtship phase, you may find yourself attracted to a person because they are the complete opposite of you, but once you get married to the person, the same reason you fell in love with the person for may turn out to be the reason for your marriage turning sour. Of course, that does not have to be the case if you and your partner learn to compromise and embrace each other for who you are.

4. It is okay to make mistakes, but making the same mistake twice is not acceptable.

It is second nature for any human being to mess up; no one can be perfect all the time. What matters is whether you learn from your mistakes or not, because if you don’t, the chances are that your spouse has had enough of your shenanigans. And that is a situation in which you do not want to be in ever.

5. Try what you may, you will never get to know your partner perfectly

This is especially true in the case of Indian Brides and Grooms as they normally do not get the chance to know their partner very well before they get married. It is impossible for one person to get to know every possible thing about another person. You are going to keep discovering new things about your partner every other day, for as long as you are together. So, just do not get surprised when something unexpected crops up, try to be calm and deal with the situation in a sensible manner.

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Want to make your marriage a happy one? Become best friends with your partner

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A matrimony is much more than the uttering of a few vows or putting a ring on your fingers or tying a Mangalsutra around the bride’s neck. All those are just rituals, and just because you perform the rituals in the right manner does not mean that you are going to have a happy marriage. Indian Brides and Grooms go through the process of an arranged marriage, and in such a marriage, often there is little or no time at all to get to know your partner before you are already married to them, and getting to know your partner is vital to any successful marriage. Not only getting to know your partner but becoming friends with friends with is also important. The question is, why?

Well, mostly because you are going to spend the rest of your life with this one person, they are going to be there for all the big happy events in your life and most importantly, the smaller ones too. Life is what it is, and therefore you are bound to go through a lot of not so happy moments as well, so basically your partner is going to be there for it all.

Now, think about this would you rather spend all these moments of your life with your best friend or a person about whom you don’t know much at all? Obviously, you would love it if it was your friend that was by your side, anyone would. And that is why it is so essential for you to get to know your partner better, and build a relationship with them. When you try to build a friendship, there is a good chance that eventually the person you are married to and your best friend will turn out to be the same person, it does sound amazing does it not?

So, how to go from being acquaintances to best friends? It is not simply going to be easy since you are also married, right? Well, not exactly. The key to forming a great friendship with your spouse is treating your relationship with them like you would treat any budding friendship. Try getting to know their interests, their likes and dislikes, their dreams and everything else there is to know about them. Although, you have to be prepared to know things that you may not necessarily like about them or things that you wish were different. And when you encounter such things, do what you would do if it was any other friendship – let it go. Embrace them for who they are, and in turn, you would see your spouse doing the same.

By becoming best friends with your spouse, you will be in a marriage where you know everything about each other, all the good things and the bad, and most importantly, you would both be enjoying each other’s company. If that is the case, how can it not be a happy marriage? So, get on with browsing through matrimonial sites now, you never know, you may find a new best friend while searching for a life partner.

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How to Become a Man of Her Dreams?

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The common notion of a dream man is someone with a fully ripped six packs body, a Greek God like face, a deep voice, etc. And that is how all men want to be because they think this is what women want. The question to be asked is, “Is that really what women look for in an  Indian Groom?” The honest answer would be no.

Most women are romantics, they might not show it outside, but on the inside, they crave a partner who is as romantically inclined as them. A partner who knows what intimacy is. A partner who can understand their emotions and respond to it accordingly. The problem is, the society does not paint guys who have all the above qualities as dream men, and popular media has helped propagate the false notion even further. After all, when was the last time you saw an Indian movie where the hero wasn’t sporting six pack and could do all those so-called ‘manly’ things such as beating up a bunch of guys effortlessly? Think hard, and you will still struggle to come up with a name.

It is not just the movies; even advertisements have done a lot of damage. One of the most popular deodorant brands in the country sells its products by showing sturdy half-naked men wooing girls with their physique. You cannot change the way the society or the media represents the dream man, but you can change yourself by following a few simple guidelines before you start browsing matrimonial sites  for the perfect bride.

Tell her ‘I love you.’

“I love you” is perhaps the most powerful short sentence that you can say to anyone. It is like a tender kiss; it gives happiness to both the person who says it and the one who hears. So, tell her you love her every time you get an opportunity to do so but do not just stop with that, show her you mean what you say. She is never going to get tired of hearing those three words if you do so.

Be there for her and the marriage

A wedding may get over once you put a ring on her finger or tie the knot around her neck, but it is the beginning of your marriage. A matrimony requires much time and effort for it to be successful. You are allowed to have your own personal time, but it should not be at the cost of the time you spend with her. Be there for all her ups and downs, the big ones and the small ones, after all that is what a marriage is about.

You reap what you sow.

Sow the seeds of respect, care, kind words, intimacy, thoughtfulness and acts of tenderness. Basically, just give her a chance to be in a meaningful relationship that keeps her happy and content. A woman wants nothing more from her man. And if you do all that, you will most definitely be the man of her dreams.

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5 tips to befriend mother-in-law after marriage

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In India, marriage is not just a bond between the couple but the entire families. Especially in the context of women, they are supposed to build a strong bond with in-laws even if it calls for going an extra mile to please them; though men are still relieved from such expectations. Not to mention, a good bond or a not-so-good bond with in-laws can have a direct impact on your relationship as a couple and on your marriage too.

Since in most of the families mother-in-law would have played the key role binding the family together, influencing the family decisions, handling the chores and doing what all it takes to create a family, hence it becomes all the more important to build a good rapport with her to establish your own position in the new family. In most probability, she can be and will be the one who will help you adjust and settle in the family after marriage.

Here are a few tips to befriend your mother-in-law.

1) Understand her expectations

The way you have certain expectations from your new family and in-laws, they too have certain expectations from you. They are the ones who were instrumental in making your marriage materialize and they will be more than happy to be with you in all odds and evens, provided you respect their expectations. Though the efforts have to be from both ends to make the things work yet no harm in initiating the first step.

2) Respect and admire her

Do respect her for the simple reason that she is your husband’s mother, and now yours too. She has been taking care of your husband since the time he was born till the date you got married to him and that deserves an admiration. Do acknowledge her efforts throughout these years. Once you start showing respect and appreciating her for what all she has done, she is sure to develop a soft corner for you too.

3) Offer Support Carefully

Believe it or not, there are few MILs who want their DILs to be fully involved in household chores from the day one whereas on the contrary there are few who are a bit possessive about their home and kinds of stuff they do and might not release responsibilities so quickly. It is better to understand their psyche and act accordingly. Too much of eagerness to offer support to a MIL possessive about her things might push her apart. Be careful about how you go about it.

4) Confide in with mother-in-law

Your mother-in-law has been an integral part of the family that you have just entered. Don’t make her feel that you are there to take her place. Assure her that you are there to compliment her in all possible manner and make “her” family complete. Don’t let your actions signal otherwise. Don’t let insecurity creep in.

5) Respect and care for your father-in-law

The relationship between a father-in-law and a daughter-in-law is often a neglected one. Though this can be a sweet father-daughter relationship provided you take a lead. Respecting and taking care of your father-in-law will not only help you establish good terms with him but will also help you establish firm grounds in your new family. As it is an indirect way of touching your mother-in-law’s heart. She will be delighted to see someone taking care of the person she loved the most her entire life.

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5 Questions to ask during first meeting in an Arranged Marriage

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When your family starts showing you pics of relevant matches and your marriage is one and the only topic of discussion on the dinner table, it is obvious to get nervous and excited with the thought of leaving your own privacy and comfort to settle down with someone who is completely new to you. That’s how an arranged marriage scenario feels like. You meet prospective matches that have come across from various sources like friends, relatives, online matrimonial sites or more. Essentially whatever be the source, the fact that the prospect is unknown to you prevails.

It’s true that your family would have performed checks at their end before taking up the proposal to you. They would have ensured that the family is well off matching own social standards, the prospect is well educated and professionally settled and various other criteria which can be mapped at a superficial level would have been taken care of. But marriage is not just about social, financial & educational equality; it is much beyond that. There are lot many ingredients that go on to build a happy marriage, which probably can’t be evaluated by family.

Here are a few questions that you must ask during your first one on one meeting with your prospective Indian bride/ Indian groom to understand your compatibility with each other before taking a final call.

1) What are your hobbies and interests?

Though it might seem to be a very basic question to ask, a lot can be inferred from the reply you receive. A person with completely opposite interests than yours could be very difficult to live with. For example, if your partner is an outgoing social person and you are an introvert who loves to confine to yourself and your immediate family, then there could be conflicts when you are together.

2) What are your expectations from your partner?

Knowing the expectations of your prospective partner and making your expectations clear at an initial level is always good as it will help you prepare for the future. Moreover, this topic might surprise you with some unrealistic expectations that your prospective partner might have which you may not be capable enough or willing to deliver. Having a clear stand on such things will avoid any future clashes.

3) What are your future goals and plan?

This is again a very relevant question, both from partners’ perspective. It is as important for a man to know the future plans of his lady as it is important for a lady to know about her man. A highly ambitious career oriented lady who is not willing to sacrifice her career post marriage definitely needs an understanding husband. To find such understanding husband or to be one needs a different mindset that still is rarely prevalent in Indian Scenario.

4) Are you ready to accept responsibility towards both families?

Girls are anyhow expected to take up the responsibility of the new family, but whether the boy is also willing to execute his responsibilities towards his new family? Or is he the same orthodox person who believes that his wife should take care of his parents like her own whereas as a son-in-law he would have no moral responsibility towards his in-laws, i.e. his wife’s parents. This will give you an idea about your partner’s mentality and thought process and can a major influencer on your decision.

5) How do you fantasize your relationship with your partner?

This is to get each other’s perspective about your relationship as a couple. Whether you would like to have a friend in partner with whom you can be yourself and open up your heart without any fear. Though this seems to be an idealistic image but the answer can actually tell you a lot about their mindset and behavior.

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