Indian Education System feels a need to educate women on how to be a “Adarsh Bahu” and hence Barkatullah University Bhopal is set to launch a certificate course on How to be a “Adarsh Bahu”.
Is it only the “Bahu” who is responsible for whatever happens in families post marriage and hence needs to be taught? Or does the society as a whole plays an important role here and needs an evolved outlook?
Since time immemorial, society and elders and family members have been setting ground rules for women on what to do and what not to do after marriage. Girls are given vast “Gyan” on how to please husband and in-laws, how to ensure that everyone in family is happy and content, even if it means compromising on her happiness & desires and crunching her expectations as a wife, a daughter-in-law, a sister-in-law and above all, her expectations as an individual.
But the sight of elders or family members imparting such “Gyan” to any would-be groom would be quite rare! Because its assumed that all the efforts to settle in a new family have to made by the girl alone and success or failure of the marital relationship is the responsibility of the bride. Whereas everyone tends to easily ignore the important role that needs to be played by the groom. How so ever “adarsh” the “bahu” be, without an understanding and supportive husband she cannot build a happy marriage and a happy family.
Moreover, the role of in-laws cannot be denied in rendering a happy relationship between newly formed couples. Current family needs to be acceptable to a new family member. They need to understand that a newly developed bond between the couple needs to be nurtured with proper time investment and determination by the couple; husband and wife need their personal time to build a stronger bond that could last lifelong. This would somewhere mean that other family members would also have to compromise on their share of time they used to enjoy earlier and this is where their support and understanding is much required. Moreover, family members need to respect the expectations and desires of the couples, their thoughts and beliefs rather than imposing their own and forcing them to follow without questioning.
The idea of imparting value education before marriage seems a great initiative but should involve all those who play an important role in creating happy marriages and happy families. There should be a course for the grooms too, to help them prepare for handling additional responsibilities post marriage and maintain a healthy balance between family and marital relationship. Even to-be in-laws need guidance to enhance their adaptability to a new family member, letting her be a “Adarsh Bahu”.
