Tag Archives: Matrimony Sites

SIGNIFICANCE OF HAVAN/HOMA IN HINDU WEDDING RITUALS

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Hinduism comes with many age-old rituals and customs which our sages practiced. All these rituals came with logical reasoning. Over time though the rituals were followed per the scriptures, people forgot the significance behind them. In modern times, thanks to the spread of the internet and matrimonial websites, articles and blogs are being posted to re-educate people to the meaning behind every important Hindu matrimonial ritual. This article will help us understand the significance of ‘havan’ (also known as ‘homa’) in Hindu matrimonial rituals.

‘Havan’/’Homa’ is a sacrificial fire ritual. It is derived from the Sanskrit root ‘hu’; which means to consume. To Hindus, fire (Agni) symbolizes purity, as it consumes the old and paves the way for a new creation, as an interface between the material world and spiritual world. The ‘Havan’ is performed in a square-shaped ‘kunda’ or a bilaterally symmetrical alter, which is meant to combine the vertical element of fire with the horizontal elements of water and earth. The ‘kunda’ is usually made of copper/stone/brick, constructed specially for ‘havan’ and then deconstructed. The offerings made are symbolized as masculine and feminine; for example – ghee (symbolizing the masculine sperm) and the ladle from which it is poured is in shape of yoni (or primitive feminine symbol).

The Hindu matrimonial ceremony is one of the most sacred religious rites. During this ceremony, the ‘Vivaha Havan’ is performed to create an air of divinity and purity. Keeping Agni as the witness, the Indian Bride and Indian Groom exchange their sacred vows to each other, to the Gods and solemnize their matrimonial rituals. The Indian Bride and Indian Groom sit in front of the fire alter, facing the East while the priest sits North, facing South. The groom and the bride hold hands, make offerings into the sacrificial fire, chant the holy hymns, and take the symbolic seven steps (‘Sapta Padhi’) all around the ‘Vivaha Havan.’ The holy hymns or ‘Shlokas’ (as they are known), end with the uttering of the word ‘Swaha’; which means the sacrifice of ego to the fire. During ancient times, more elaborate sacrifices were made, but now we make ritualistic sacrifice/offerings such as curd, sugar, incense, herbs, milk, petals, grains, coconut, etc. Given the significance of the ‘Vivaha Havan’ in the Hindu matrimony, the offerings must be sacred and a logical purpose to explain their usage. Below is a list of some of the most commonly-used items and their purpose:

1) Ghee – meant to purify the sacrificial fumes; symbolizes burning of ego and purifying the heart;

2) Sandalwood/Camphor – meant to purify and perfume the sacrificial fumes; symbolizes burning of ego;

3) Mango leaves and twigs – Formic Aldehyde is released through the sacrificial fumes to kill bacteria in surrounding air; symbolizing purification;

4) Jaggery (Gur) – Formic Aldehyde is released through the sacrificial fumes to kill bacteria in surrounding air; symbolizing purification and sweetening the air;

5) Turmeric (Haldi) – Its antiseptic properties disinfects the air;

6) Dhoop (Incense Sticks) – to release sweet aroma into the air; symbolizing health and prosperity;

7) Gangajal (Water of Holy River Ganges) – water is spread around the ‘Havan Kund’ to purify the surroundings and to stop the fire from spreading.

8) Lamp (diya) represents the goddess Laxmi who blesses the couple with prosperity.

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What can you do to make your Mehendi day more interesting?

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Indian weddings are very elaborate, and the functions sometimes go on for close to a week. Mehendi is one such pre-wedding function, which is more related to the Indian bride, though in some families even the Indian groom is applied mehendi. As most mehendi functions are arranged at home, it is usually the duty of the hosts to keep their guests occupied and entertained before the wedding chaos begins.

Organizing a mehendi ceremony takes a lot of planning as it is not just limited to adorning one’s hands and feet, singing, dancing, and the food is also an essential part of the entire ceremony. To make it trendier and exciting, games and costumes are also made a part of the occasion. As this is a more relaxed function, and generally limited to the closest family members, you can make it interesting by planning some family favorites.

Arrange for an eating competition – Not just children even the elders would love to participate in it. Have an ice-cream or a rosogulla eating competition. You can give away gifts to the winners.

Antakshari Competition – Another family-oriented game. Make groups and play this old favorite. This is one game which attracts both the young and old alike. Wedding songs create the atmosphere for the occasion.

Hire musicians – A drum player can add a lot for such an occasion. The dancers in the family get to shake a leg, and it is also a prelude to the sangeet ceremony. It makes the event more traditional and enjoyable.

Set up a drink and ice-gola stand – Let your guests mix up crazy concoctions and enjoy ice-golas while they revive old memories. Wedding are the occasions which present a chance for all relatives to meet, and while everyone is catching-up let them enjoy some old favorites. Mehendi is the only wedding occasion which is more intimate, as it is limited to the family and some close friends.

Put up a Board or a Wall – all your guests can give you advice on how to conduct yourself after the wedding. It makes a pleasant memory of the special day of your life.

Photography Session – This is the ideal day to have a family photography session. Everyone wants to get their pictures taken with the relatives, and this is a perfect occasion. Arrange for some impressive backdrops, and if possible, ask the photographer to make instant prints and give it to your guests as souvenirs.

Arrange for a beautician – A small gesture for your guests which will make them remember your special day forever. Anyone wanting a quick hair, or a nail-job done, doesn’t have to run all the way to the nearest parlor.

Caricature and tattoo Artists – The kids will thank you for this gesture. Kids and adults alike love to get themselves sketched and inked.

Carrom and Chess competitions – So the men in the family don’t feel left out arrange for chess and carrom competitions. It will not only keep them entertained but will give them a chance to bond over a fun game.

These are some small tips and gestures which make not just your day special, but it will make your guests feel wanted and welcome.

To help organize a Mehendi Ceremony, you can also avail services from the experts. Some Matrimonial sites also offer such add-on services to its members or atleast they can offer multiple ideas to make the event a memorable one. Depending on the budget, matrimony sites offer package services though event management agencies.

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Do Not Try to Change Your Spouse, Embrace Them for Who They Are

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No human being is perfect, every person in this world has multiple flaws in their character, even you and you cannot deny this fact. Therefore, it means that the person you are married to isn’t perfect either, and they have their own sets of flaws. So, what do you do when you come across a flaw in your spouse? Do you lash out them? Do you nicely ask them to change the habit or behaviour that you consider a flaw? Or do you do nothing?

A lot of people will be inclined to choose the second option, when you do not like something your spouse does or says, asking them not to do it anymore seems like a reasonable thing to do, and make no mistake, it is alright to do that. But, is it the proper thing to do? The answer is no. What you need to understand is that change is not something that happens overnight, and in some cases, it may not happen at all. It is not the fault of your spouse if they cannot change the way you want them to, they might be really trying hard, and you probably would not have realized it, or maybe they were not trying hard enough because they did not want to change. And they cannot be found at fault in both the cases.

First of all, it is you who wants them to change and they are not doing it out of their own will. Changing a character trait is no simple thing, unless and until the person really wants to bring about the change, there is no chance of it happening. So, forcing your partner to do something they do not want to do in the first place is of no use at all. Secondly, remember what love is about? It is all about loving every little part of each other, both the good and the bad which means that you have to embrace each other’s flaws. Otherwise, you need not be together at all. What is love without acceptance? And what is a matrimony without love?

Yes, obviously it is not going to be easy. Your spouse may do or say a lot of things that might irritate you, even drive you nuts, but this is the place you have to apply one of the key principles of every successful marriage – compromise. It starts by accepting the fact that whatever you do, you cannot change your spouse, because however long you search, no matrimonial site is going to help you find a spouse who has no fault at all. And once you accept that fact, you will automatically move on towards embracing your partner for who they are. Once you do that, you might start feeling the change yourself. The things that made you feel like going on a rampage before will no longer even bother you. In fact, you may find yourself laughing at how silly you were to have lost your cool about something so trivial. Indian Brides  and Grooms may benefit a lot from following this simple thing as arranged marriages mean you often have little or no time to know your partner before you have already tied the knot.

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5 Things About Marriage That You Didn’t Learn at School

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Your education might have prepared you for a lot of things that you may have to face in life from getting a job to building a career and even performing first aid, but what school cannot teach is the reality behind a  matrimony. You will never realize what marriage is unless you get into one, and by the time you realize it, it is probably too late. Well, fret not, because we have here for you some authentic facts about marriage. Try going through them before you start creating profiles on various matrimonial sites.

1.  Marriage is not about your happiness; it is about your partner’s as well.

The sooner you realize this fact, the better because the last thing you want to do in a marriage is to put yourself first. In a marriage, it should also be we, and never I, otherwise you may not call marriage a partnership at all. So, whatever you do, make sure that both you and your partner gain happiness because of your actions.

2. Love is not just a feeling; love is about commitment.

Once you are in a marriage, you should be in for the long haul. It may seem such an easy thing at the start of the marriage, but as time goes on you will come across situations that test your patience and commitment to your marriage. The key is not to give up because if you love your partner; you won’t.

3. “Opposites attract” may not turn out to be true after all

When you are going through the courtship phase, you may find yourself attracted to a person because they are the complete opposite of you, but once you get married to the person, the same reason you fell in love with the person for may turn out to be the reason for your marriage turning sour. Of course, that does not have to be the case if you and your partner learn to compromise and embrace each other for who you are.

4. It is okay to make mistakes, but making the same mistake twice is not acceptable.

It is second nature for any human being to mess up; no one can be perfect all the time. What matters is whether you learn from your mistakes or not, because if you don’t, the chances are that your spouse has had enough of your shenanigans. And that is a situation in which you do not want to be in ever.

5. Try what you may, you will never get to know your partner perfectly

This is especially true in the case of Indian Brides and Grooms as they normally do not get the chance to know their partner very well before they get married. It is impossible for one person to get to know every possible thing about another person. You are going to keep discovering new things about your partner every other day, for as long as you are together. So, just do not get surprised when something unexpected crops up, try to be calm and deal with the situation in a sensible manner.

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Want to make your marriage a happy one? Become best friends with your partner

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A matrimony is much more than the uttering of a few vows or putting a ring on your fingers or tying a Mangalsutra around the bride’s neck. All those are just rituals, and just because you perform the rituals in the right manner does not mean that you are going to have a happy marriage. Indian Brides and Grooms go through the process of an arranged marriage, and in such a marriage, often there is little or no time at all to get to know your partner before you are already married to them, and getting to know your partner is vital to any successful marriage. Not only getting to know your partner but becoming friends with friends with is also important. The question is, why?

Well, mostly because you are going to spend the rest of your life with this one person, they are going to be there for all the big happy events in your life and most importantly, the smaller ones too. Life is what it is, and therefore you are bound to go through a lot of not so happy moments as well, so basically your partner is going to be there for it all.

Now, think about this would you rather spend all these moments of your life with your best friend or a person about whom you don’t know much at all? Obviously, you would love it if it was your friend that was by your side, anyone would. And that is why it is so essential for you to get to know your partner better, and build a relationship with them. When you try to build a friendship, there is a good chance that eventually the person you are married to and your best friend will turn out to be the same person, it does sound amazing does it not?

So, how to go from being acquaintances to best friends? It is not simply going to be easy since you are also married, right? Well, not exactly. The key to forming a great friendship with your spouse is treating your relationship with them like you would treat any budding friendship. Try getting to know their interests, their likes and dislikes, their dreams and everything else there is to know about them. Although, you have to be prepared to know things that you may not necessarily like about them or things that you wish were different. And when you encounter such things, do what you would do if it was any other friendship – let it go. Embrace them for who they are, and in turn, you would see your spouse doing the same.

By becoming best friends with your spouse, you will be in a marriage where you know everything about each other, all the good things and the bad, and most importantly, you would both be enjoying each other’s company. If that is the case, how can it not be a happy marriage? So, get on with browsing through matrimonial sites now, you never know, you may find a new best friend while searching for a life partner.

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