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How and Why Marriages in India are Overrated

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In India, marriages are highly overrated and one wonders why. Not only there’s an Utopian notion about how marriages are a must for one’s life to be complete and fulfilled, there’s also too much emphasis on the inexhaustible marriage ceremonies, rituals and traditions to be complied with.

Marriage a Must?

Most Indian parents expect the daughter to get married soon after she completes her education mandatorily. Though with time, the Indian bride’s Age for marriage has increased, yet for a woman to not have got into matrimony by the time she’s 30 till date raises eyebrows and questions and unsolicited advice. Because of this social age of marriage, in India, even a well-educated and financially independent but unmarried girl generally speaking becomes a reason of parents feeling the social pressure just to get her married and leave home. In India, whether a daughter is a doctor or a high profile corporate executive or a sports person, a married daughter is much preferred and treated as a “weight off the parent’s shoulders.”

For boys, again, there’s immense social and family pressure to get married, the moment he is well established and able to sustain a family financially. In some extreme cases, a man is married off even if he’s not independent, on the logic that marriage will henceforth make him wake up to his responsibilities.

Marriage equivocal to Happiness?

Marriages in India are thus overrated also because our society fails to reckon that marriage doesn’t necessarily make one happy. There are now increasing number of broken marriages, divorces, unhappy matrimonial lives, unhappy couple’s and practically null and void marriages simply alive on papers – all in the name of the overrated institution of marriage.

The Show, the Pomp, the Rituals

But even besides these factors, the wedding event itself is so highly overrated. In any typical Indian wedding, both sides of the allegiance spend nothing less than a few lakhs up to quite a few crores on every wedding.

Typically, most Indian families invite an endless number of family members, relatives, friends, and acquaintances to a wedding function. Lavish food items are prepared. Expensive gifts are exchanged. Days together, at times weeks, are passed away in elaborate pre-wedding and post-wedding ceremonies.

While earlier a nice and decent Banarasi or Kanjeevaram sari would suffice for the Indian bride and a good pair of suit or dhoti kurta for the Indian groom, nowadays it’s seemingly become a social statement and mandatory to go in for designer Lehengas and Sherwanis. The costlier they are, the grander the wedding is seen as. No wonder, the true essence of a matrimonial event has increasingly taken a back seat, while overrated Utopian notions about marriage and superficial traditions and wedding activities have taken up so much space.

We at LoveVivah love to see happy, healthy and joyous weddings. We not only are committed to bring you your perfect life partner, but also love to see the true essence of a matrimonial life fill your wedding day with happiness and joyful memories. That’s why we bring you India’s best and most eligible bride and groom profiles. We ensure that every profile on our matrimonial site is genuine, so that you, our cherished user gets a fully secure, safe experience and meet only the trusted candidates on LoveVivah.

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Weird Indian Wedding Rituals That Will Blow Your Mind

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Have you heard the popular phrase, “It happens only in India!”? Well, yes, that’s even more applicable to the context of the diverse wedding rituals our country has, as some of them are outright bizarre! India is a conglomeration of language, culture, and religions and yet in almost every community, there are some weird matrimonial ceremonies hard to reckon with. Here are a few of them –

Mandatory Change of Mind

In specific Tamil Brahmin communities, a groom has to change his mind at the last minute mandatorily and refuse to become a married man. He is then ritualistically counseled by his uncle or his father on the merits of becoming a ‘Sansarik’ and not a ‘Sanyasi.’ He’s told in detail about the significance of matrimony and ‘Grihastha Ashram ‘ and his roles and duties as a husband, so he comes back to his senses and agrees to sit at the marriage altar.

Drink that Dude!

Among Gujaratis, it’s mandatory to have the groom’s feet washed with milk and honey by his would-be father-in-law. But what’s bizarre is he’s then supposed to drink that sweet, slimy, dirty “potion” in the name of Madhuparka, as this ritual is called.

Trapeze Star Bride?

In a common post-wedding ritual of Bihar, a newlywed bride has to balance earthen pots after pots on her head, which are placed there by her mother-in-law. It doesn’t end there. She has to then seek the elder’s blessings by bowing This is said to symbolize the bride’s ability to balance her familial and matrimonial responsibilities.

Pinocchio Groom

We all have read about Pinocchio who’s nose became longer with every lie. But here’s another way to make that happen! Gujarati wedding! In a ceremony named Ponkhana where the groom’s mother-in-law first greets him and performs an aarti, but then she mandatorily pulls the groom’s nose! This is symbolic of helping the groom remember that he’s the one who has come to seek the bride in marriage and so much remains humble.

Runaway (with) Bride!

Some of the Adivasi communities in India have this strange tradition of the husband keeping the newly wedded wife in some hidden place for a full one year. She’s not allowed to go out or interact with anyone for that duration. After the end of one year, the community seniors approve the wedding, and an official celebration is held.

Roses, No, Tomatoes, Yes!

In Sarsaul, Uttar Pradesh, within a certain tribal community, it is mandatory to greet and welcome the groom’s family with quite a strange thing. Not roses, not rose water or perfumes, not even with drinks and paan. They are welcomed by being pelted with tomatoes! The community seems to believe that a matrimonial association beginning with tolerating such torture with such patience definitely makes room for long-term patience, love, and understanding between the newlyweds.

You may or may not be looking forward to having any such bizarre matrimonial ceremonies. However, screening through online matrimonial sites often can turn pretty bizarre due to various online hazards. We at LoveVivah take utmost care to bring you verified and best of profiles, and thus with us, you’re sure to find your perfect match!

To ascertain quality and authentic profiles, we insist on Aadhaar linking of the profiles. This is for our member’s, your own, security and convenience. We are committed to bringing you the best matrimonial site India has ever had, and hence we go this extra mile of Aadhaar linking & verification at the backend.

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The Psychological Secrets to a “Happy Marriage”

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Since centuries the role of matrimony has been discussed, dissected and discoursed upon, ad nauseam! Since time immemorial philosophers, poets, religious leaders, spiritualists, psychologists and social anthropologists alike have tried to solve the mystery question to what constitutes a happy matrimony. Cynics have even called that phrase an impossible oxymoron. However, the office of marriage still thrives amidst every culture and people still want to know, “What are the secrets to a guaranteed happy marriage?”

Good news and bad news! The bad news (actually not!) is that there is no given secret formula to it. The good news is every couple has the secret within their own unique dynamic to make it so, IF they put in effort to maintain certain psychological and emotional wellness of the relationship.

Equality

In most pockets of India, even today the man and the woman within marriage are not considered equals. However, a marriage is a bond between two equal shareholders. A matrimony  where both partners aren’t self assured enough to treat the other person as their equal, without feeling threatened or defensive, is bound to undergo deterioration over time.
In our culture, people at times quote ancient religious texts and mythologies at times to justify the lesser or subservient role of a wife to her husband. But every Indian groom and bride must also remember the equally opposite legacy of “equality within marriage”, depicted in the same ancient texts. Our Puranas clearly talk about Shiva and Shakti being equal and same. In any wedlock, that same essence needs to be recreated for a mutually respectful and happy long haul.

Friendship

The greatest emotional foundation to a Happy Marriage is – surprise! – not great chemistry, nor family affluence, nor any other version of compatibility – rather it’s ‘Friendship’. In Buddhism there’s a beautiful word for Love, called Maitri. Maitri essentially means ‘Loving Friendliness’ that one holds, feels and deliberately practices towards their object of Love. Imagine if you first and foremost forge a deep friendship with your spouse, and are committed to treat him or her as your Best Friend, how easy the rest of the matrimonial nuances would automatically become. Things that you would never do to your best friend now translates into things you would never even feel like doing within the sacred wedlock. Hurt, manipulative behaviors, abuse, violence in speech or action, losing interest, betrayal, cheating – some if these potent marriage killers by default lose out moment partners build their matrimonial life in a deep friendship with each other.

Compassion

To have compassion for anyone implies extending them your patient listening, your tolerant understanding, your proactive presence to ease their struggles in every manner. In every culture, all religious leaders and cultural voices have hailed Compassion as a vital game changer for everything in life. Same goes for a happy married life. Practicing compassion towards one’s spouse doesn’t equate to pitying them as weak but to treat them as one’s own self and be there for them as one would fit themselves. This psychological stance radically strengthens any wedding bond.

Non reaction

No, we aren’t talking about passive aggressive non-reaction or silent treatment! We are talking about a calm and detached objectivity that can save any relationship from every interpersonal crisis, more so within a marriage relationship. Hasty judgments, hissing jealousy, incorrect conclusions drawn and reactive speeches have ruined more marriages than any other practical issues. For both partners to develop an attitude of calm non-reaction and “Practising the Pause” before addressing an issue goes a long way in forging deeper trust, better communication and more effective partnership.

We at LoveVivah are committed to your matrimonial success all the way from your very first step. That is why we bring you some of the best Indian Bride and groom profiles from all over the country. We also ask you to ensure your profile is linked with your Aadhaar. This verification process is for your own safety and smoother and more joyous experience of our matrimonial site. We want to ensure you meet only the genuine and trustworthy people on our site, hence we ensure that the members do have Aadhaar linked to their profile.

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Ten ways to keep the spark going

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In a country like ours, matrimony  is holy. It should be because you enter into a bond between souls with a promise to strive for a better life. Though the relationship is vitally important, it is not challenge-proof. Couples have their ups and downs while they try to settle down into this new relationship. Newness fades into small disagreements, but this should never mean that the spark is gone. The transition from passionate love to compassionate love requires efforts, and these efforts should come from both. Try the following ways to give the spark a shot once the honeymoon period is over.

1) Bring Back The Date Nights
Now that you have caved into the routine make sure to make your partner feel special, no matter how busy your schedule is. Being complacent is easy but lethal. Take your partner away to his/her favorite restaurant once in a while to rediscover the special fun of dating.

2) Never Forget To Communicate
There is nothing better in any relationship than to admit feelings and share worries. Feel free to talk to your partner if something does not feel right. Listen to their part of the story. Share your dreams and fears, grow together, talk about that bump you faced in the office. Talk about everything.

3) Cultivate a common interest
Watch a sport, read a book, spend time gardening, try knitting. In short, try any of the common interests you share together and watch the bond grow. Marriage is so much more than budgeting and raising a family. It is growing together.

4) Head to the movie theatre
In Indian setups, it is sometimes difficult to get your partner all to yourself. Put out a little effort and get your partner out for a lovely movie, don’t mind if the movie does not turn out to be lovely, be grateful that you spent time together. Then bash the movie together.

5) Help with chores
Nothing is sexier than being caring in any relationship. Take responsibility and make efforts in the kitchen or around the house. This will make your partner feel equal, and you will eventually help the bond grow stronger.

6) Respect Each Other
Respect is food for every marriage. Even if one of the partners is wrong and another loses cool, make sure that you can still look eye to eye after the storm is settled. If you do not respect your partner, others may follow the lead. Respect to be respected.

7) Take On An Adventure
Being married has its perks. You will never have to find another partner for your adventures. Try a new restaurant, go swimming, go to another city. Try something new.

8) Surprise!!!
Try planning something nice for your partner. Pick up some roses on the way home. Write sweet-nothings for him/her. You will put a broad smile on your partner’s face.

9) No Harm In Apologies.
In a long-term relationship, conflicts are obvious. The biggest let-down in such situations is ego and never accepting the fault. Say sorry when you are supposed to. This will not make one weak and another strong but will strengthen the relationship and keep it glowing with a spark.

10) Look Good For Each Other
Last but not least, do not give up on yourself after you get married. Do not stop trying new styles, picking out latest fashion, experimenting with your hair, if you used to. Never stop loving yourself. The love within reflects outside. Entice your spouse in every way you can!

Marriage is beautiful. All that needs to be done is making little efforts. Wake up and try, because trying makes us human. Make this bond as beautiful as it is supposed to be.

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Are Matrimonial Sites are useful than Traditional Ads?

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Traditionally, Indian matrimony always has been arranged because we Indians believe that it is not only the Indian bride and the Indian groom, who are united for life but their families are too. Families and friends scouted for prospective Indian brides and Indian grooms within their social circle and acquaintances. Criteria such as caste, community, education, financial stability, values, culture, compatibility, etc. are kept in mind during this scouting process to ensure the most eligible compatibility between the bride and the groom and their respective families. The scouting process ensured that each family gets as much first-hand information as possible about the other family before committing. Matrimonial advertisements in newspapers and matrimony bureaus were also followed to seek prospective matches, per criteria.

With the wider spread of the internet, there seems to be a surge in matrimonial sites. The use of these sites is particularly popular with the urban youth. As internet and education spread through small towns, the use of matrimonial sites increases in such places as well. The increasing popularity of matrimonial sites can be attributed to the below factors:

Technology Friendly – In current times where people are becoming more tech-savvy, Matrimonial sites offer plenty of prospective matches to choose from at a touch of a button. The sites offer smart filters to narrow search according to everyone’s criteria – religion, age, caste, language, education, etc.

Maintain the Tradition – Most of the profiles come with photos, traditional specifications. So, not only the prospective Indian bride and the Indian groom know what they are looking at, even the families and friends are happy, knowing that the search is being conducted via traditional criteria;

Wider Catchment – Matrimonial sites not only cater to the urban youth but a wide range of population in semi-urban, rural and overseas areas as well;

More Extensive Options – These sites provide the options for all kinds of varied requirements;

Initial Conversation – Matrimonial sites also offer an online chat room, where the prospective groom and bride can initiate a conversation and find out more about each other, arrange for a meet.

Success Stories – Many of these sites post the stories of those Indian brides and Indian grooms that they have successfully paired and wedded. It provides confidence to those, who are seeking prospective matches, as to the efficacy of the matrimonial sites.

When one compares the above advantages to the traditional method of newspaper advertisements, matrimonial sites are more useful.

Newspaper ads have the following disadvantages:

1) These do not provide as broad options as sites do;
2) Are painstaking and time-consuming when it comes to narrowing a prospective match, arranging the initial chat between the potential matches and their families;
3) Do not come with the options of ‘alerts’ as matrimonial sites do (when a prospective match comes up);
4) One is required to visit the newspaper office to update the ad personally;
5) These do not offer a glimpse of the photos of the prospective brides/grooms.

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