Tag Archives: indian groom

The True Significance of Honeymoon

Pin It

honeymoon1

The word ‘Honeymoon’ has its etymology in the Old English phrase “hony moone.”. In Old English, Hony meant honey, and it was used to indicate the “special phase of loving sweetness and tenderness and conjugal pleasure lived out by newly weds. The other word Moone, in contrast, indicated the matter of fact fleeting nature and a waning phase of that same sweetness. As you can tell, this word didn’t have a positive connotation, as we have about it today. It was almost a phrase of cynical warning about the sweet marital love soon waning like the Moon.

However, instead of focusing on this aspect of the word, let’s perhaps look at another ancient and a more optimistic context of this word’s origin.

Around the 5th century, most ancient societies used the lunar cycle as their calendar time. Back then, it was a mandatory custom for newly weds to drink customary Mead (a honey based alcoholic drink that was said to have aphrodisiac elements) during the first moon right after their marriage, in order to help enhance libido in the couple.

A few more centuries down the timeline, the concept of honeymoon was again much different from the present day custom where couples go away just by themselves. In the 1900s, in Great  Britain, newly weds would go on a post matrimony tour, visiting relatives and  friends who had not been able to attend the wedding. It was in fact a special time to forge new bonds – between the newly married themselves, and also with their friends and families.

Although culturally often honeymoon is seen as a solitary sexually passionate getaway for newly weds,  the real essence of the period called “honeymoon” is not so much about conjugal passion, rather about striking a fresh friendship, understanding and mutual compassion!  As two entirely different people join each other’s lives, every couple most definitely need time to understand each other more, adjust with their new roles (as husband and wife from boyfriend and girlfriend / lovers ) , with the other person’s minute details and habits that, regardless of how long one has been dating, can only be understood and learnt while staying with them under the same roof. This needs ample time, single minded dedication, effort and space. Therefore, to simply allow fostering of this newly readjusted friendship and bond between the pairs, which becomes impossible when back on the daily household and workplace grind, the custom of honeymoon still serves as a vital and pivotal nuance.

Even in ancient India, right after the wedding NEVER came the proverbial passionate first night! According to Vedic tradition, the ceremony of Garbhadaan, offering one’s womb to the husband’s lineage (the first conjugal sexual act) was conducted only half a lunar cycle after the big day. This interim period was meant for the newly weds to strike a deeper friendship, understanding and genuine love for one another. Our ancient cultures understood that more than physical pleasure and attraction, what served as a solid foundation to matrimony was mutual understanding, friendliness and trust. And every couple was hence given ample time just after the matrimonial ceremonies to forge that bond first. Even today, this perhaps should be the Real essence of this exclusive time called Honeymoon that every newly wed is blessed to have – a time not just for passion running wild in wild exotic settings, but also a time of forging stronger bond and trust and intimacy.

So, what do you now think about honeymoon? We at LoveVivah love to bring you such meaningful information, because we are committed to help you find the most meaningful relationship if your life. We value matrimony as sacred and hence take utmost care to bring you our best listing of Indian Bride and groom from all over the country.

The profiles on our matrimonial site are linked with Aadhaar card. We take this additional care to ensure that every profile you explore is worth your time and effort. Hence, Aadhaar linking to your LoveVivah profile is made essential.

How is love after marriage different than love before marriage?

Pin It

loveaftermariage

Every good relationship is typically based on love. Friends or relatives, no matter what the dynamics, we simply want people who we love. We have grown up listening to “Love gives meaning to life” mantra which is nothing less than a holy gospel. As life moves on with its twists and turns, love changes its guise, and this is how the tale of change ensues.

Love before marriage is usually an adventurous journey with limited responsibilities and possible heartbreak. The bond of matrimony  on the other hand ensures that you put in lots of efforts into numerous decisions for a natural progression towards love.

This does not mean that love before marriage lacks responsibilities or affection, it just means that it is a lot easier to walk away. There are numerous situations where the perspectives do not remain the same.

Arguments:

When you are in love with a person prior to the bond of matrimony, your outlook towards conflicts is altogether different. In this kind of scenario, many couples call to quit without trying hard. Even though marriages too are not immune from the breakups, but in this case, the moving away is quite a task.

Responsibilities:

Before marriage, couples share few though not many responsibilities. The decisions are unilateral sometimes, and no big planning is on the cards. On the other hand, a couple in marriage need to share responsibilities in terms of finance, planning, raising a family and so much more. In the latter case, love needs to be strong enough to bear the disputes and disagreements because, at the end of the day, you have to look eye to eye again.

Bonding with family:

Once a couple enters the bond of matrimony, two families get acquainted as one, and the couple has to take care of the web of relationships afresh. This kind of bonding is absent when marriage is not on the cards. Gradual adjustments with the new family and getting to know each other through thick and thin is part and parcel of marriage.

The future certainty:

The future is uncertain to all kinds of love. The difference between the case before marriage and after marriage is not being sure of planning the future together. Married couples plan about future events such a raising a family or investments and so much more.

The no-glamour scenario:

Many people will fail to admit, but love before marriage us way too glamorous. The all-day- all week dating and sweet nothings in text messages are a routine. After being married, partners see each other sleeping in huge baggy clothes, tangled hair and so much. The love after marriage is all about loving the partner for who he/she is deep inside.

Patience:

Matrimony dawns patience on husband and wife. They learn to go through annoying habits and spats because the commitment is way too big to let go. They gradually learn to get adapted to what their partner offers and try to invest more patiently in leading the marriage into something great.

Love remains as love itself,  no matter if you are married or not. It is just that marriage makes the goal clear and you move ahead in life having each other’s back. There is no other commitment bigger and noble than this one.

How and Why Marriages in India are Overrated

Pin It

overrated

In India, marriages are highly overrated and one wonders why. Not only there’s an Utopian notion about how marriages are a must for one’s life to be complete and fulfilled, there’s also too much emphasis on the inexhaustible marriage ceremonies, rituals and traditions to be complied with.

Marriage a Must?

Most Indian parents expect the daughter to get married soon after she completes her education mandatorily. Though with time, the Indian bride’s Age for marriage has increased, yet for a woman to not have got into matrimony by the time she’s 30 till date raises eyebrows and questions and unsolicited advice. Because of this social age of marriage, in India, even a well-educated and financially independent but unmarried girl generally speaking becomes a reason of parents feeling the social pressure just to get her married and leave home. In India, whether a daughter is a doctor or a high profile corporate executive or a sports person, a married daughter is much preferred and treated as a “weight off the parent’s shoulders.”

For boys, again, there’s immense social and family pressure to get married, the moment he is well established and able to sustain a family financially. In some extreme cases, a man is married off even if he’s not independent, on the logic that marriage will henceforth make him wake up to his responsibilities.

Marriage equivocal to Happiness?

Marriages in India are thus overrated also because our society fails to reckon that marriage doesn’t necessarily make one happy. There are now increasing number of broken marriages, divorces, unhappy matrimonial lives, unhappy couple’s and practically null and void marriages simply alive on papers – all in the name of the overrated institution of marriage.

The Show, the Pomp, the Rituals

But even besides these factors, the wedding event itself is so highly overrated. In any typical Indian wedding, both sides of the allegiance spend nothing less than a few lakhs up to quite a few crores on every wedding.

Typically, most Indian families invite an endless number of family members, relatives, friends, and acquaintances to a wedding function. Lavish food items are prepared. Expensive gifts are exchanged. Days together, at times weeks, are passed away in elaborate pre-wedding and post-wedding ceremonies.

While earlier a nice and decent Banarasi or Kanjeevaram sari would suffice for the Indian bride and a good pair of suit or dhoti kurta for the Indian groom, nowadays it’s seemingly become a social statement and mandatory to go in for designer Lehengas and Sherwanis. The costlier they are, the grander the wedding is seen as. No wonder, the true essence of a matrimonial event has increasingly taken a back seat, while overrated Utopian notions about marriage and superficial traditions and wedding activities have taken up so much space.

We at LoveVivah love to see happy, healthy and joyous weddings. We not only are committed to bring you your perfect life partner, but also love to see the true essence of a matrimonial life fill your wedding day with happiness and joyful memories. That’s why we bring you India’s best and most eligible bride and groom profiles. We ensure that every profile on our matrimonial site is genuine, so that you, our cherished user gets a fully secure, safe experience and meet only the trusted candidates on LoveVivah.

Weird Indian Wedding Rituals That Will Blow Your Mind

Pin It

rituals

Have you heard the popular phrase, “It happens only in India!”? Well, yes, that’s even more applicable to the context of the diverse wedding rituals our country has, as some of them are outright bizarre! India is a conglomeration of language, culture, and religions and yet in almost every community, there are some weird matrimonial ceremonies hard to reckon with. Here are a few of them –

Mandatory Change of Mind

In specific Tamil Brahmin communities, a groom has to change his mind at the last minute mandatorily and refuse to become a married man. He is then ritualistically counseled by his uncle or his father on the merits of becoming a ‘Sansarik’ and not a ‘Sanyasi.’ He’s told in detail about the significance of matrimony and ‘Grihastha Ashram ‘ and his roles and duties as a husband, so he comes back to his senses and agrees to sit at the marriage altar.

Drink that Dude!

Among Gujaratis, it’s mandatory to have the groom’s feet washed with milk and honey by his would-be father-in-law. But what’s bizarre is he’s then supposed to drink that sweet, slimy, dirty “potion” in the name of Madhuparka, as this ritual is called.

Trapeze Star Bride?

In a common post-wedding ritual of Bihar, a newlywed bride has to balance earthen pots after pots on her head, which are placed there by her mother-in-law. It doesn’t end there. She has to then seek the elder’s blessings by bowing This is said to symbolize the bride’s ability to balance her familial and matrimonial responsibilities.

Pinocchio Groom

We all have read about Pinocchio who’s nose became longer with every lie. But here’s another way to make that happen! Gujarati wedding! In a ceremony named Ponkhana where the groom’s mother-in-law first greets him and performs an aarti, but then she mandatorily pulls the groom’s nose! This is symbolic of helping the groom remember that he’s the one who has come to seek the bride in marriage and so much remains humble.

Runaway (with) Bride!

Some of the Adivasi communities in India have this strange tradition of the husband keeping the newly wedded wife in some hidden place for a full one year. She’s not allowed to go out or interact with anyone for that duration. After the end of one year, the community seniors approve the wedding, and an official celebration is held.

Roses, No, Tomatoes, Yes!

In Sarsaul, Uttar Pradesh, within a certain tribal community, it is mandatory to greet and welcome the groom’s family with quite a strange thing. Not roses, not rose water or perfumes, not even with drinks and paan. They are welcomed by being pelted with tomatoes! The community seems to believe that a matrimonial association beginning with tolerating such torture with such patience definitely makes room for long-term patience, love, and understanding between the newlyweds.

You may or may not be looking forward to having any such bizarre matrimonial ceremonies. However, screening through online matrimonial sites often can turn pretty bizarre due to various online hazards. We at LoveVivah take utmost care to bring you verified and best of profiles, and thus with us, you’re sure to find your perfect match!

To ascertain quality and authentic profiles, we insist on Aadhaar linking of the profiles. This is for our member’s, your own, security and convenience. We are committed to bringing you the best matrimonial site India has ever had, and hence we go this extra mile of Aadhaar linking & verification at the backend.

The Psychological Secrets to a “Happy Marriage”

Pin It

happymariege

Since centuries the role of matrimony has been discussed, dissected and discoursed upon, ad nauseam! Since time immemorial philosophers, poets, religious leaders, spiritualists, psychologists and social anthropologists alike have tried to solve the mystery question to what constitutes a happy matrimony. Cynics have even called that phrase an impossible oxymoron. However, the office of marriage still thrives amidst every culture and people still want to know, “What are the secrets to a guaranteed happy marriage?”

Good news and bad news! The bad news (actually not!) is that there is no given secret formula to it. The good news is every couple has the secret within their own unique dynamic to make it so, IF they put in effort to maintain certain psychological and emotional wellness of the relationship.

Equality

In most pockets of India, even today the man and the woman within marriage are not considered equals. However, a marriage is a bond between two equal shareholders. A matrimony  where both partners aren’t self assured enough to treat the other person as their equal, without feeling threatened or defensive, is bound to undergo deterioration over time.
In our culture, people at times quote ancient religious texts and mythologies at times to justify the lesser or subservient role of a wife to her husband. But every Indian groom and bride must also remember the equally opposite legacy of “equality within marriage”, depicted in the same ancient texts. Our Puranas clearly talk about Shiva and Shakti being equal and same. In any wedlock, that same essence needs to be recreated for a mutually respectful and happy long haul.

Friendship

The greatest emotional foundation to a Happy Marriage is – surprise! – not great chemistry, nor family affluence, nor any other version of compatibility – rather it’s ‘Friendship’. In Buddhism there’s a beautiful word for Love, called Maitri. Maitri essentially means ‘Loving Friendliness’ that one holds, feels and deliberately practices towards their object of Love. Imagine if you first and foremost forge a deep friendship with your spouse, and are committed to treat him or her as your Best Friend, how easy the rest of the matrimonial nuances would automatically become. Things that you would never do to your best friend now translates into things you would never even feel like doing within the sacred wedlock. Hurt, manipulative behaviors, abuse, violence in speech or action, losing interest, betrayal, cheating – some if these potent marriage killers by default lose out moment partners build their matrimonial life in a deep friendship with each other.

Compassion

To have compassion for anyone implies extending them your patient listening, your tolerant understanding, your proactive presence to ease their struggles in every manner. In every culture, all religious leaders and cultural voices have hailed Compassion as a vital game changer for everything in life. Same goes for a happy married life. Practicing compassion towards one’s spouse doesn’t equate to pitying them as weak but to treat them as one’s own self and be there for them as one would fit themselves. This psychological stance radically strengthens any wedding bond.

Non reaction

No, we aren’t talking about passive aggressive non-reaction or silent treatment! We are talking about a calm and detached objectivity that can save any relationship from every interpersonal crisis, more so within a marriage relationship. Hasty judgments, hissing jealousy, incorrect conclusions drawn and reactive speeches have ruined more marriages than any other practical issues. For both partners to develop an attitude of calm non-reaction and “Practising the Pause” before addressing an issue goes a long way in forging deeper trust, better communication and more effective partnership.

We at LoveVivah are committed to your matrimonial success all the way from your very first step. That is why we bring you some of the best Indian Bride and groom profiles from all over the country. We also ask you to ensure your profile is linked with your Aadhaar. This verification process is for your own safety and smoother and more joyous experience of our matrimonial site. We want to ensure you meet only the genuine and trustworthy people on our site, hence we ensure that the members do have Aadhaar linked to their profile.