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Interesting Facts about Telugu Weddings

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Telugu people belong to the land of Andhra Pradesh or Telangana. Telugu  matrimony follows the traditional Hindu wedding rituals.

Some interesting facts about Telugu Weddings, for this matrimonial site

1) Traditionally, these ceremonies lasted for sixteen days. These days, the ceremony lasts for just two or more days;

2) Matrimonial customs are performed depending on the caste of the Indian bride and Indian groom;

3) The families of the Indian bride and Indian groom personally go to guests’ houses and invite them with ‘kumkum’ (colorful, red powder);

4) In one of the pre-matrimony ritual, the Indian groom takes a holy bath, (known as ‘Snatakam’), few hours before the wedding. This bath marks his ‘graduation’ from bachelorhood to the householder. After the holy bath, the groom wears a silver thread on his body;

5) In another pre-matrimony ritual (known as ‘Kashi Yatra’), the groom declares celibacy and expresses his intent to go to ‘Kashi’ (also known as Varanasi) to pursue higher studies. The Indian bride’s brother stops the Indian groom, pleads him to reconsider his decision, requests him to marry his sister and become a householder. This ritual is light-hearted, involving camaraderie between the Indian groom and his future brother-in-law. The Indian groom, of course, agrees to marry his Indian bride in the end!

6) Telugu matrimony usually takes place towards midnight;

7) On the morning of the matrimony, the Indian groom performs the ‘Ganesha Puja.’ The Indian bride performs the ‘Gauri Puja.’ During this time, a ritual known as ‘Pravara’ is performed. In this ritual, the bride’s clan (‘gotram’) is changed from her father’s to her would-be husband’s;

8) Traditionally, the Indian groom would ride an elephant to the ceremony (‘GajaArohana’-arrival on an elephant), but this practice is declining with the passage of time;

9) During the matrimonial ceremony of ‘Kanyadaan’ (or giving away the bride), the Indian bride is brought to the wedding venue (‘mandap’) by her maternal uncle in a bamboo basket;

10) The Indian bride’s parents wash the Indian groom’s feet (who for matrimony, is considered the incarnation of Lord Vishnu).

11) After ‘Kanyadan,’ the bride is accompanied by ten married women. Six of them carrying plates of sacred rice (a mixture of rice and turmeric powder), while the remaining four carry small lit lamps. Rice for abundance and lit lamps for light.

12) There is a curtain that separates the Indian bride and the Indian groom, who are not allowed to look at one another;

13) Between recitations of wedding hymns, the bride and the groom place on each other’s forehead a paste of jaggery and cumin seeds, symbolizing the eternity and strength of the relationship;

14) The Indian bride and the Indian groom then pour the sacred rice on each other’s head, while cupping their hands to hold the rice as the priest recites wedding hymns.

15) The Indian groom adorns the feet of his bride with silver toe rings. He bends down to slip these rings on her toes, thus claiming her for himself.

16) Both the bride and the groom are shown double stars representing the union of Arundhati and Sage Vasista, who epitomize the perfect couple.

Get the Perfect Match with Lovevivah.com Premium services

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The task of finding a perfect partner for you in life is a daunting one. The reason for such a dilemma isn’t the shortage of good prospects. But the prevalence of online fraudery. This is why LoveVivah reigns as the best online platform to find the best matches. The premium services of LoveVivah is your best friend in finding your soulmate.

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The Importance of the Father-in-Law and Daughter-in-Law Relationship

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One will find reams and reams of writing on the complexity of a Mother-in-Law and Daughter-in-Law relationship, but one hardly finds much advice, even on matrimonial websites, on how an Indian Bride can forge a healthy relationship with the father of the Indian Groom, i.e, the Father-in-Law and the importance of such ties.

In our patriarchal society, even though men are heads of the families and take all the major decisions, the truth is, it is the women who control the behind-the-scene actions. Be it managing the inter-connected , complicated relationships between various family members, the business of the running of the house, looking after the family members etc. The men, especially the father take a backseat.

An Indian girl grows up in the loving and pampering care of her family, especially her father. To a girl, her father is the best man ever. Upon matrimony, when she leaves the cocooned comfort of her father’s home and steps in the matrimonial home, the Indian bride is expected to deep dive and be a part of her new family from the word go. It is unfair. Even though there are more nuclear families these days, such expectations are still prevalent.

This is where the father-in-law can play an important role. He can pseudo step in the shoes of the bride’s father and take his daughter-in-law under his wing. It is essential for a newly wedded Indian bride to understand this. She is not expected to look up to the Indian groom’s father as her father because emotionally that is not possible, but she can look up to her father-in-law as a friend and a guide.

Look at this way, the father-in-law, though he takes a backseat in the day to day functioning of the house, knows everyone in the family well enough. The father-in-law can initiate his new daughter-in-law to understand every person in her new family, what works with what and whom. He can even stand up for her or mediate in case of misunderstandings or problems; something a mother-in-law or husband usually does not do. By creating a relationship of mutual trust and understanding with her father-in-law, the new Indian bride can slowly make inroads and her place in her matrimonial home.

An Indian bride should, therefore, make efforts (even before the matrimony) to find out more about her father-in-law: his routine, his favorite foods, his interests and tastes, his childhood and youth memories, his friends and even his problems. Such efforts will allow the daughter-in-law to create a warm and healthy friendship with her husband’s father; almost like a father and daughter relationship.

Remember, even though it is the women who rule the house, the father-in-law is the head of the family. When it comes to crises or serious family tension, he is expected to stand up and take a call/decision. It is essential for an Indian bride to be in a favorable relationship with her father-in-law because more often than not, he will stand up to her and support her.

Making marriage work for two professionals

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In today’s competitive world, we often find both the partners in a marriage, working. This may be either out of choice or a necessity to live a comfortable life. In either case, sometimes couples may find it increasingly difficult to make things work. With both constantly juggling careers and relationship to make time for projects, travelling, long working hours and at the same time, for each other, there may hardly any time left for each other. So much so, that sometimes we may start to feel matrimony being a hindrance to our career growth and then, things may start to change for the worse.
At the same time, having a partner alongside should only prove to be a blessing, both in the professional space, as well as personal. If you follow our guide, balancing career and marriage should no longer seem to be difficult.

Don’t take work home
This may sound obvious, but in practice, it may be hard to follow. Most of the times, it is not the long hours spent in the office, but lack of attention at home that causes friction between husband and wife. Often, when we leave from office, we carry home our frustrations, our unfinished work and sometimes, even grudges. This may tantamount to venting these feelings on to our partner. Agreed, we must communicate with our partners, but it must not become a practice to dump our negative feelings on the other person.

Another golden rule could be to keep the phone away. Yes, try to keep the evening slot for the both of you. This means no work-related phone calls and no emails, as much as possible.

Keep one day for you both

Allocating and reserving one day for you both is a great idea to adopt and follow. Try doing what you love doing – together, as a team! Whether this is shopping or dining or watching movies together. Do things that you both enjoy doing and it may surprise you how you may start looking forward to that one day!

Divide your chores
Times are changing and so are the traditional roles. We may know this, yes, but it may often become a necessity to remind ourselves once a while. Remember, when both are working, by the end of the day a long day at work is enough to drain you both physically and emotionally. Always be aware of this and try to be as accommodating as possible. Putting food on the plate, for example, should no longer be a task reserved for the typical Indian bride or the bahu of the house. If it must be, then perhaps tasks like clearing the table or doing the grocery etc., can be shared by the other partner. This will hold true even later, when the family grows and when the tasks for bringing up of children must be shared.

Having the comfort that you always have someone to take over, in case you have longer hours for few days is a great feeling. And if you are able to manage your relationship by following these simple rules, you will be thankful for being married.

Exploring Assamese Wedding Rituals

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India is a diverse country with varied cultures and traditions. It is only natural that weddings are performed differently in different cultures. And there is no better opportunity to understand culture and traditions of a select group than to visit a traditional wedding. Assamese weddings are what we are exploring in this article. ‘Biya’ as they are generally referred to in their local language is characterized by some pre-wedding and wedding rituals. They are carried out over a period of two-three days and are full of color and festivities and bear a strong cultural influence. One of the unique features of these weddings is the traditional ‘Biya geet’ or ‘Biya naam,’ which are traditional songs sung by the women of the Assamese community throughout the wedding festivities.

A glimpse into a traditional ‘Biya’ is given below:

Before the start of any rituals for the wedding, a string of mango leaves is tied on every door of the house. This is thought to ward off any evil intention or negative energy – which is called ‘aam dali gotha.’ With the auspicious setting, Juran Diya follows. The thought behind this ceremony is to shower the ‘bride to be’ with gifts. During the ceremony, the groom’s mother visits the bride’s family with a number of female relatives and presents her with gifts – the wedding attire, makeup, and jewelry. The groom first touches everything given to the bride!

A part of the Juran Diya is Tel Diya ceremony where a ring and a betel nut are placed on the bride’s hair by the mother of the groom. Oil is poured over this thrice, and vermillion is applied. Interestingly, in Assamese weddings, this is the only time vermillion or sindoor is applied. The husband does not apply the sindoor. Only mom-in-law does. Equivalent to ‘Ghadoli’ in Punjabi weddings is the custom of ‘Pani Tola.’ Both the mothers gather water from a nearby pond or river for a ceremonial bath before the wedding. A coin and a knife are given to the ‘soon to be a couple,’ which have to be carried everywhere with them until the wedding is concluded.

For the sacred bath, both the bride and the groom at their respective places are made to sit on seats created with four young banana plants. Oil, a paste of lentils, curd, and turmeric, are applied on their heads, and the ceremony is concluded with sacred water being poured on their heads.

On the day of the wedding, the Assamese groom, ready in his attire gifted by the bride’s family, arrives at the place of the wedding. Interestingly, it is considered inauspicious for the mother of the groom to be a part of the ceremony! So, she leaves before the wedding concludes.

Weddings are more than just ceremonies. They are a culmination of two families and, especially the bride and the groom, who are embarking on their journey towards  matrimonial  bliss! Although weddings across the country may seem different, they all seek to celebrate the union of the two souls – they are full of joy, celebrations, and love for the new couple for their ever-lasting love and companionship!