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Plan a Ravishing Sangeet Ceremony

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The Sangeet ceremony is the most awaited moment of any matrimony. Earlier sangeet used to be a ‘women’s function,’ and men were not allowed to attend it. Even the songs used to be traditional folk songs and were hummed by the womenfolk. But with the impact of Bollywood on Indian weddings, the sangeet ceremony has become a more elaborate event than the wedding itself.

Today every Indian wedding is preceded by a Sangeet night, irrespective of the religion of the Indian bride and Indian groom. Some matrimonial sites also offer event managements for such occasions.

So how to plan the sangeet of the year?

The date for the Sangeet is usually decided upon before the wedding invitations are printed, so that is one thing that you can take off your list of to-do things.

Pick the perfect venue- Most people prefer to keep the sangeet venue same as the wedding, but it usually helps to have these two functions at different places. The reason being there is less confusion with decorations and many other minute details. It is usually preferable to hold a sangeet ceremony at a venue which is convenient for both families. There should be ample place for people to dance and enough place for others to sit and enjoy as well. Your choice of venue should also depend on the number of the invitees to the ceremony.

Plan a Budget- The Sangeet itself works out as expensive as the wedding itself. It all depends on you how elaborate you want to make it. You can also plan for simple and elegant decorations as the guests are more interested in good food and catchy music.

Choreographed or not- Most couples like to get their sangeet ceremony choreographed by a professional, for that expert touch. It brings elegance and grace to the entire ceremony.

Choose the Music- You are spoiled for choice. You can always start will some old favorites of the elders and make them start the sangeet ceremony. Allow things to slowly warm up by bringing the parents of both the bride and the groom. Choose your songs well and line your favorites to be played in a specific sequence. Make someone in-charge of the music so that there is never a silent moment. Start it with old melodies for the elders, but don’t forget the little ones in the family. Line up songs to fit the taste of every guest present at the ceremony.

Play the latest and catchy songs as the night matures, but don’t forget to take to the floor with your would-be partner with your special song. Divide the time between both families, so no one feels left out.

Keep it Short- Don’t allow the Sangeet ceremony to drag for hours together. Remember that the main event is the wedding. Keep it limited to a 2-3 hour, so you and your guests are well rested for the wedding.

Group Dance- Try to end the ceremony on a high note by requesting all the guests present to shake a leg. Pick a happy song, or the latest favorite and play it as the last song of the night.

Make it a night to remember for you and your guests.

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Should you keep secrets after marriage?

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How many times have we heard about marriage defined as the institution of love, harmony and ultimately, cardinal trust between two people? We are evolving continuously, and so does our thought process. Somewhere down the line, people confused privacy with secrecy.

Many of us forgot the distinction and consequently failed at drawing a line between both. While privacy is a right, secrecy is toxic. Think about it! Secrecy usually involves orated lies or purposive exclusion of paramount information, just like, one would skip disclosing to his/her partner that they had a hook-up.

Do Not Mistake Secrecy for Privacy

Privacy, on the other hand, is your right to go to the bathroom and lock the door once you are in. We are simply rejecting the idea of having an audience in the bathroom. That is where people mess up. Married people are mutually dependent on each other. While you have a right to private life, you cannot take away the privilege from your partner of knowing the truth.

Whether you are an Indian groom or an Indian bride, both parties enter each other’s life with a lot of hopes and dreams. After matrimony, you are not any two individuals, you are two people who vowed to standby each other.

We have to allow our partner the right to privacy, but not a secret life. This secret we keep may someday become irrelevant, but the fact that we kept it, never will. There are so many examples and so many marriages all around us wherein one or both the partners forgot or lost sight of what is ultimately important in their lives- Trust. People continue to keep secrets with thoughts like “I will cross the bridge when I get there,” but what then?

When you talk about things, good or bad, one thing is sure; you will sleep better. In the process of hiding one secret, we make up a pile of so many lies that it almost gets impossible to get out of it with love intact. Even if some of us do in fact get out, what are they left with? Not love, for sure.

Is It Truly Worth The Effort And Deceit?

Before indulging in any of the secret keeping, big or small, one has to ask oneself a question. Is this secret worth the intimacy we share?” When you are deceitful in a marriage, it always breeds mistrust. And trust once lost is really hard to regain. Then again, remind yourself why you got married in the first place. You actually committed to other person, and one simply cannot run or hide from the responsibilities, one of which is being transparent and trustworthy.

Untold secrets are one of the greatest threats to matrimony.  You entered each other’s life as each other groom and bride.  Now life lays ahead of you to share each other’s fears and joy

When you keep secrets in a marriage, you are only preparing a hotbed for deceit and betrayal. When you partner finds out, what you kept from him/her, count what you will lose-intimacy, love, trust and who knows you might reciprocate the same behavior from your partner. You will eventually grow apart. Mistrust once created will keep lingering in the back of the mind of your partner, and you may lose what you once found, and the question at the end will still remain

If you are married and have a person in your life who means a lot, or who trusts you enough to keep his/ her heart, do not let a secret take it away. Because it is not worth it!

Being the online matrimonial site, LoveVivah takes great pride in upholding transparency with our customers. Life is not something to waste worrying about secrets. Find your perfect match at LoveVivah – India’s best matrimonial website!

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SIGNIFICANCE OF HAVAN/HOMA IN HINDU WEDDING RITUALS

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Hinduism comes with many age-old rituals and customs which our sages practiced. All these rituals came with logical reasoning. Over time though the rituals were followed per the scriptures, people forgot the significance behind them. In modern times, thanks to the spread of the internet and matrimonial websites, articles and blogs are being posted to re-educate people to the meaning behind every important Hindu matrimonial ritual. This article will help us understand the significance of ‘havan’ (also known as ‘homa’) in Hindu matrimonial rituals.

‘Havan’/’Homa’ is a sacrificial fire ritual. It is derived from the Sanskrit root ‘hu’; which means to consume. To Hindus, fire (Agni) symbolizes purity, as it consumes the old and paves the way for a new creation, as an interface between the material world and spiritual world. The ‘Havan’ is performed in a square-shaped ‘kunda’ or a bilaterally symmetrical alter, which is meant to combine the vertical element of fire with the horizontal elements of water and earth. The ‘kunda’ is usually made of copper/stone/brick, constructed specially for ‘havan’ and then deconstructed. The offerings made are symbolized as masculine and feminine; for example – ghee (symbolizing the masculine sperm) and the ladle from which it is poured is in shape of yoni (or primitive feminine symbol).

The Hindu matrimonial ceremony is one of the most sacred religious rites. During this ceremony, the ‘Vivaha Havan’ is performed to create an air of divinity and purity. Keeping Agni as the witness, the Indian Bride and Indian Groom exchange their sacred vows to each other, to the Gods and solemnize their matrimonial rituals. The Indian Bride and Indian Groom sit in front of the fire alter, facing the East while the priest sits North, facing South. The groom and the bride hold hands, make offerings into the sacrificial fire, chant the holy hymns, and take the symbolic seven steps (‘Sapta Padhi’) all around the ‘Vivaha Havan.’ The holy hymns or ‘Shlokas’ (as they are known), end with the uttering of the word ‘Swaha’; which means the sacrifice of ego to the fire. During ancient times, more elaborate sacrifices were made, but now we make ritualistic sacrifice/offerings such as curd, sugar, incense, herbs, milk, petals, grains, coconut, etc. Given the significance of the ‘Vivaha Havan’ in the Hindu matrimony, the offerings must be sacred and a logical purpose to explain their usage. Below is a list of some of the most commonly-used items and their purpose:

1) Ghee – meant to purify the sacrificial fumes; symbolizes burning of ego and purifying the heart;

2) Sandalwood/Camphor – meant to purify and perfume the sacrificial fumes; symbolizes burning of ego;

3) Mango leaves and twigs – Formic Aldehyde is released through the sacrificial fumes to kill bacteria in surrounding air; symbolizing purification;

4) Jaggery (Gur) – Formic Aldehyde is released through the sacrificial fumes to kill bacteria in surrounding air; symbolizing purification and sweetening the air;

5) Turmeric (Haldi) – Its antiseptic properties disinfects the air;

6) Dhoop (Incense Sticks) – to release sweet aroma into the air; symbolizing health and prosperity;

7) Gangajal (Water of Holy River Ganges) – water is spread around the ‘Havan Kund’ to purify the surroundings and to stop the fire from spreading.

8) Lamp (diya) represents the goddess Laxmi who blesses the couple with prosperity.

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What can you do to make your Mehendi day more interesting?

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Indian weddings are very elaborate, and the functions sometimes go on for close to a week. Mehendi is one such pre-wedding function, which is more related to the Indian bride, though in some families even the Indian groom is applied mehendi. As most mehendi functions are arranged at home, it is usually the duty of the hosts to keep their guests occupied and entertained before the wedding chaos begins.

Organizing a mehendi ceremony takes a lot of planning as it is not just limited to adorning one’s hands and feet, singing, dancing, and the food is also an essential part of the entire ceremony. To make it trendier and exciting, games and costumes are also made a part of the occasion. As this is a more relaxed function, and generally limited to the closest family members, you can make it interesting by planning some family favorites.

Arrange for an eating competition – Not just children even the elders would love to participate in it. Have an ice-cream or a rosogulla eating competition. You can give away gifts to the winners.

Antakshari Competition – Another family-oriented game. Make groups and play this old favorite. This is one game which attracts both the young and old alike. Wedding songs create the atmosphere for the occasion.

Hire musicians – A drum player can add a lot for such an occasion. The dancers in the family get to shake a leg, and it is also a prelude to the sangeet ceremony. It makes the event more traditional and enjoyable.

Set up a drink and ice-gola stand – Let your guests mix up crazy concoctions and enjoy ice-golas while they revive old memories. Wedding are the occasions which present a chance for all relatives to meet, and while everyone is catching-up let them enjoy some old favorites. Mehendi is the only wedding occasion which is more intimate, as it is limited to the family and some close friends.

Put up a Board or a Wall – all your guests can give you advice on how to conduct yourself after the wedding. It makes a pleasant memory of the special day of your life.

Photography Session – This is the ideal day to have a family photography session. Everyone wants to get their pictures taken with the relatives, and this is a perfect occasion. Arrange for some impressive backdrops, and if possible, ask the photographer to make instant prints and give it to your guests as souvenirs.

Arrange for a beautician – A small gesture for your guests which will make them remember your special day forever. Anyone wanting a quick hair, or a nail-job done, doesn’t have to run all the way to the nearest parlor.

Caricature and tattoo Artists – The kids will thank you for this gesture. Kids and adults alike love to get themselves sketched and inked.

Carrom and Chess competitions – So the men in the family don’t feel left out arrange for chess and carrom competitions. It will not only keep them entertained but will give them a chance to bond over a fun game.

These are some small tips and gestures which make not just your day special, but it will make your guests feel wanted and welcome.

To help organize a Mehendi Ceremony, you can also avail services from the experts. Some Matrimonial sites also offer such add-on services to its members or atleast they can offer multiple ideas to make the event a memorable one. Depending on the budget, matrimony sites offer package services though event management agencies.

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What to expect at your first matrimonial meeting with the bride/groom and family?

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Most of the Indian families are now relying on Matrimonial sites to find a life-partner for the eligible members of the family. Even would-be Indian Brides and Indian Grooms register themselves on the Matrimonial sites, who are crucial in bringing many couples and families together for a perfect union. These sites provide freedom to choose from some prospective interested brides and grooms.

But before such an event culminates in a successful  matrimonial relationship, there is a dreaded first meeting between the bride and groom along with the families. The first meeting is elemental in deciding whether to go forward with the relationship or to look at other prospects. In Indian communities, matrimonies are still arranged and finalized by the families of the bride and the groom.

Today, social media is the best way to get to know the background of any person before the actual meeting. Posts and friends convey a lot about a person. Do your bit of homework before you even take it to the next level of a personal meeting.

Unlike in the olden days, matrimony sites give the younger generation comprehensive background information of the prospective bride or groom. Usually, the ice gets broken by the series of general questions regarding – Job, family background, siblings, etc. the understanding between the couple is of utmost importance.

Meet in an informal setting-

It is always better to organize such meetings at a casual place where it is easier for both the families to talk and get to know each other. It is usually better to have such meetings at a neutral ground, such as a restaurant than at home. First-time meetings are an ice-breaker so keep it casual.

Let the conversation flow naturally-

Rather than making things too awkward and uncomfortable for both the parties, allow the discussion to take its course. Once both sets of families are relaxed and get to know each other, they will figure out a common interest which will take-out any awkwardness of the first meeting.

Insist on a personal talk-

It is always important to have a private conversation. It might feel bizarre to ask personal questions to a stranger, but it is your life, and you have absolute right to ask all the relevant questions before taking any decisions. Not all families agree on this matter as it is the first meeting, but there is no point to have a second meeting if you feel that this person is not for you.

Go with the gut-

Your instincts will never let you go wrong. Human instincts are the strongest when they meet anyone for the first time. And first impressions are always proved to be correct.

Find common interests-

Yes! It is also one of the most important things to find out in the first meeting. Opposites attract but only like-minded people can make their relationships work in the long run. Find out if you share common interests or hobbies, it will always add a new meaning to your relationship as you grow older.

In India, the matrimonial relationship is not limited to the couple but extends to the family as well. So, it is essential for both sets of families to be equally comfortable with each other

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