Very few couples may admit to have conflicts but having conflicts in marriage is normal. People who commit to spending life together may have different opinions about different things. No matter how much a couple is in love, they cannot see eye to eye on everything.
When two individuals come together with a commitment to spend life together, somewhere down the line, many small things tend to cause friction. Two people can have a different attitude and personalities. Add in some oddities, pour in some expectations, sprinkle some day to day errands, and it can go all kinds of crazy.
Conflicts are not totally unhealthy, but how well they are being resolved can determine the health of your marriage. Fights, big or small, can be avoided or concluded in a very healthy way. Sometimes conflicts tend to get unavoidable, but what comes handy is your approach towards conflict solving.
Communication is key
First thing first; every matrimony has an ultimate need – Communication.
As long as you are communicating, you always have a better chance to avoid a conflict. It is highly important that we get past our selfishness and arguments and pave the way for some productive dialogue. Take out some time in your daily routine, where you can just talk and listen.
Listen to what your partner is going through and do not shy away from expressing what you feel. It makes your partner feel that they are heard and understood. Most important part of communication is analyzing your partners need. Determine the right time to talk about your hidden needs.
Give your partner and equal chance to talk about things and never jump to conclusions. If something is not right, stop smoldering and stop expecting that your partner will just guess your problems. Communicate!
Take a Time-Out
Conflicts tend to raise your emotional quotient, and in the heat of the moment, most of the couples start the trash-Talk. Soothe yourself and just breathe! When emotions are heightened, distance yourself from any sort of emotional or mental abuse.
You can keep calm and resume the discussion after you regain your peace of mind. Always remember; “The goal should be to have a conversation in such a way that you can see eye to eye and have another conversation tomorrow.
Empathize & Accept
Understand that your partner may have different needs. In case of a conflict, accept the blame if you have wronged the other. Accepting your fault and saying sorry will make your marriage rock solid. Take responsibly for your actions. If your partner apologized for something, do not keep mentioning the same thing over and over again. Never give cold-shoulder to your partner. This increases marital stress, and things may not be the same after a while even if you try.
Create a Win-Win & Resolve
Partners should make genuine efforts to take care of each other’s needs. Once a conflict arises to try to come to a solution which helps both. Take each other into consideration and remember that you love the other person.
You must understand that matrimony involves the union of two individuals who were in different spheres of lives. When these spheres collide, the result is inevitable friction. So be patient, loving and understanding, and the thing that you are finally left with is a beautiful loving married life!