How many times have we heard about marriage defined as the institution of love, harmony and ultimately, cardinal trust between two people? We are evolving continuously, and so does our thought process. Somewhere down the line, people confused privacy with secrecy.
Many of us forgot the distinction and consequently failed at drawing a line between both. While privacy is a right, secrecy is toxic. Think about it! Secrecy usually involves orated lies or purposive exclusion of paramount information, just like, one would skip disclosing to his/her partner that they had a hook-up.
Do Not Mistake Secrecy for Privacy
Privacy, on the other hand, is your right to go to the bathroom and lock the door once you are in. We are simply rejecting the idea of having an audience in the bathroom. That is where people mess up. Married people are mutually dependent on each other. While you have a right to private life, you cannot take away the privilege from your partner of knowing the truth.
Whether you are an Indian groom or an Indian bride, both parties enter each other’s life with a lot of hopes and dreams. After matrimony, you are not any two individuals, you are two people who vowed to standby each other.
We have to allow our partner the right to privacy, but not a secret life. This secret we keep may someday become irrelevant, but the fact that we kept it, never will. There are so many examples and so many marriages all around us wherein one or both the partners forgot or lost sight of what is ultimately important in their lives- Trust. People continue to keep secrets with thoughts like “I will cross the bridge when I get there,” but what then?
When you talk about things, good or bad, one thing is sure; you will sleep better. In the process of hiding one secret, we make up a pile of so many lies that it almost gets impossible to get out of it with love intact. Even if some of us do in fact get out, what are they left with? Not love, for sure.
Is It Truly Worth The Effort And Deceit?
Before indulging in any of the secret keeping, big or small, one has to ask oneself a question. Is this secret worth the intimacy we share?” When you are deceitful in a marriage, it always breeds mistrust. And trust once lost is really hard to regain. Then again, remind yourself why you got married in the first place. You actually committed to other person, and one simply cannot run or hide from the responsibilities, one of which is being transparent and trustworthy.
Untold secrets are one of the greatest threats to matrimony. You entered each other’s life as each other groom and bride. Now life lays ahead of you to share each other’s fears and joy
When you keep secrets in a marriage, you are only preparing a hotbed for deceit and betrayal. When you partner finds out, what you kept from him/her, count what you will lose-intimacy, love, trust and who knows you might reciprocate the same behavior from your partner. You will eventually grow apart. Mistrust once created will keep lingering in the back of the mind of your partner, and you may lose what you once found, and the question at the end will still remain
If you are married and have a person in your life who means a lot, or who trusts you enough to keep his/ her heart, do not let a secret take it away. Because it is not worth it!
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