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Things You Should Keep in Mind When Attending a Bengali Wedding!

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Bengali Wedding

Traditional Indian Weddings are not just gorgeous, lavish and full of fun, but also culturally rich and diverse. Every distinct Indian community wedding is a sight to behold and an experience to drown oneself in. And so is the Bengali wedding!

Traditional Bengali weddings are unique in their customs, flavors, attires, food, and rituals – very different from almost all the other parts of India.

There are numerous unique nuances that one must not miss experiencing in a Bengali wedding in order to fully enjoy this authentic experience. Each set of ceremonies are important to watch out for, beginning with Aaiburo Bhaat, (the last meal as a bachelor/spinster), Gaye Holud (Haldi ceremony) and the actual wedding ritual, thereafter the Bashor Ghor.

So, here are a few things to keep in mind and to look out for and experience, when attending a Bengali marriage!

The Bachelorette Feast (Aiburo Bhaat)     

A day before the wedding, a grand feast is offered for the bride-to-be and the groom-to-be in their respective homes by their respective families.  This meal marks the last day of their lives as an unmarried man and woman. This is a fun feast with friends and family joining in the celebration of the couple’s end of singlehood and moving into Bengali Matrimony.

The Unique Wedding Attire

Bengali wedding attire is very different from most of the other Indian wedding attires, both in the case of the bride and the groom. Through centuries, the traditional Bengali bride wears a typical red (or any other auspicious color) authentic Banarasi sari and a Red Cheli (Veil) for her wedding day. She is also adorned in a unique, triangular and intricately carved headgear called Mukut made of Shola (a milky white sponge). Likewise, the groom’s headgear is called Topor, which is conical and equally intricately designed, which is gifted to him by the bride’s side. He wears it during the wedding ceremonies along with his traditional Bengali Dhoti and Kurta. A traditional Bengali bride and groom are a gorgeous sight to behold!

For good luck, besides the Mukut and the Topor as headgears, the couple must also carry two distinct items in their hand during the wedding ceremonies. The groom is given the Jaanti, a traditional betel nut cracker to hold, while the bride is given the gach kouto (a red, tall container) to keep in her hand all the while as they take their marriage vows. These items are traditionally considered to be auspicious and helpful to ward off bad luck. These are the two unique items to look out for in an authentic Bengali wedding.

The Thrilling Shubhodrishti Lift Up in The Air

One of the most famous Bengali wedding rituals is the Saat Paak or the seven circumventing which the bride is made to take around the groom just before Shubhodrishti (meeting of the couple’s eyes). In this famous ritual, often depicted in movies that show a Bengali wedding, the brothers/cousin brothers carry the bride while she is made to seat on a Piri (wooden plank). This wooden plank is lifted up in the air from all sides by her brothers, and the bride is carried around the groom seven times. Then, the couple is brought face to face, and they finally look at each other for the first time during the day, known as Shubhodrishti (auspicious glance). Then, the couple exchange glances and thereafter, floral garlands too.

In this ceremony, another unique custom to look out for is the nuance of the bride covering her face with two green betel leaves all throughout the Saat Paak. She lowers the leaves from her face only after the completion of the seven rounds and at the moment of Shubhodrishti.

The much-dreaded (by most nervous brides) yet most fun game during this ritual is the brothers deliberately lifting the wooden plank much higher than the groom so that he cannot put the garland around her. Likewise, the groom’s friends also lift him up to help him succeed in garlanding and winning his bride. This traditional fun competition between the bride’s side and the groom’s side is also fuelled on by family elders adding in funny and friendly banters from aside. This is one unique fun ritual that you should not miss.

The Beautiful Fire Ritual

Bengali weddings have Kanyadaan (giving away the daughter by the father/uncle), then the Yagna fire is lit, and the entire wedding takes place around the fire as the sacred witness. The bride and groom offer puffed rice offerings to the fire. The smearing of vermilion and Saptapadi takes place around the fire. Saptapadi is the seven steps where the bride pushes the traditional stone pestle with her toe with the groom behind, symbolizing the strength and dedication to keep moving the conjugal and domestic duties ahead no matter how challenging it gets. Also, the couple takes seven rounds around the sacred fire while making seven sacred marital vows. It is a spectacle to behold in a Bengali wedding! These main rites of the evening are exquisitely beautiful to watch and must not be missed.

Unlimited Fun and Frolic

Now you can guess how much the Bengali weddings, like all else, team up with frolic and fun. A large gathering of extended family and friends take part in the wedding procedure that lasts several days. Besides the garland competition, the other extreme fun event is Bashor Ghor. This is the gathering that takes place right after the actual wedding ritual is complete. The night of the wedding, the newlywed couple is not left alone, but heavily flanked by friends and family who sing, recite, play fun games and make merry along with the couple. This is a fun event that one just cannot miss while attending a Bengali wedding, which is filled with laughter, noise, and fun.

Authentic Bengali Food

If you’re attending a traditional Bengali wedding, be sure it will include an elaborate feast including non-vegetarian delicacies. Bengali wedding rituals take place usually at night, and hence, the wedding feast is a hefty and sumptuous dinner. The menu includes rice preparations like Pulav or ghee bhaat (rice cooked in ghee), various vegetarian dishes, but also without fail, a number of non-vegetarian dishes made of fish and meat. If you’re attending a Bengali wedding, gorging on the wedding feast goes without saying! After the dinner, there is a wide range of desserts such as the famous Mishti doi (sweetened curd), rasgoollas, and other sweet meats. At the end, traditional Bengali paan (betel leaf) is offered to every guest.

Altogether, a Bengali wedding is a fun-filled, once-in-a-lifetime experience of unique nuances to look out for. Now that you know what all to keep in mind while attending such an event; go ahead and enjoy to the hilt in any Bengali wedding!

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Top 7 Things You Can Expect at A Bengali Wedding

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Bengali weddings, much like the other regional Indian weddings, have their own customs and ceremonies that define them to start with the matrimonial life. If you are going to attend a Bengali wedding anytime soon, it is essential for you to know these top 10 things that you can expect at a Bengali wedding so that there is no risk of you zoning out during the ceremonies.

Let’s check them out!

1. Placement of The Mangal Ghat

Colorful rangolis are a common sight in a wedding house in Bengal. In addition to that, women also place clay vessels or “Mangal Ghats” filled with mango leaves and a coconut resting on the top. It is then placed in the four corners of the house. These vessels apparently help in warding off the spirits and bringing in good fortune for the matrimony to come.

2. Ai Buro Bhat

This ceremony takes place a night before or a few days before the actual wedding ceremony where the groom and the bride have their last meal as an unmarried couple in their own homes. It is a fairly lavish meal that consists of rice, paturi (steamed mustard fish in a banana leaf), mutton curry, papad, dal, payesh (rice pudding), fish and assorted fried vegetables.

3. Gaye Holud

This is a fascinating custom in which a paste of turmeric is rubbed on the bride and the groom’s skin while they sit on a plank or a Piri to make their skin glow. The married women of both the families usually apply this paste. The bride’s family sends the paste in addition to Piri for the groom. Some mantras are also recited before the application of the paste.

4. Applying Aalta

Rather than applying mehndi, the brides apply Aalta which is a red pigment on their hands and feet. This is a symbol of the Goddess Lakshmi and this custom to said to bless the groom with prosperity and wealth.

5. Bor Aasha

The groom arrives at the venue at the stipulated time on the wedding day. It is quite similar to a baraat but not half as crazy or wild. He sits in a separate chamber and is constantly greeted by all the guests there until the time comes to tie the knot with his bride.

6. Hulhuli

Hulhuli is the Bengali equivalent of ululating. It is done to ward off the evil spirits, or so most people believe. However, it is usually done at the end or the beginning of an important occasion or event as a sort of signal. It is also accompanied by blowing the shankh or the conch shell.

7. Shubha Drishti

The brothers or the male relatives carry the bride on a Piri, and she covers her face behind several paan leaves. Once her fiancé comes in front of her, she removes the leaves. The bride’s face is generally decorated intricately with designs made out of sandalwood paste. The groom and the bride then exchange garlands before sitting with the priest.

These are some amazing Bengali customs that you are bound to witness when you attend a Bengali wedding. If you are also looking for a Bengali man/woman to get married to, you can check out the several bengali matrimonial sites and matrimony sites. Who knows? You might find your one too!

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Bengali Pre Wedding rituals: Sweet & Loaded with Fun

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Bengali Pre Wedding Rituals

Bengali wedding like any other wedding has its own flavor of traditions and rituals. If you have ever got a chance to witness any Bengali wedding, then you must have realized that it is filled with rituals and fun. Bengali Hindu weddings like most other Indian weddings are good mix of traditional customs and rituals. The wedding is union of two families. The parents of the Bengali boy and girl for marriage search life partner. The parents of the girl and boy fix marriage if they find the match suitable for their child.  Generally, the Bengali weddings are not that fancy and gaudy as compared to weddings in North India. Let’s take a look at some of the pre-wedding rituals of Bengali wedding.

Adan-Pradan: Both the families fix a wedding date after getting the consent from the Bengali bride and groom for marriage. After checking the horoscope compatibility and other details, the families fix an auspicious marriage date.

Aashirwad ceremony: This is a ceremony where the bride and groom are formally accepted by both the families. All the family members shower the blessings on the would-be Bengali bride and groom. They put husked rice and trefoil leaves on their head. They also give gifts like gold jewelry, clothes, sweets and other things to the bride and groom. The day of this ceremony is not fixed as it varies from family to family. Some families conduct this ceremony a few days before, or a month before or on the wedding day.

Ai Budo Bhaat ceremony: This ceremony is very much similar to bridal shower of Christian wedding or bachelor party. The neighbors, close relatives and friends of the bride/groom attend this ceremony at her/his home before the wedding day. In this ceremony, the bride and groom offers a traditional Bengali meal in their respective homes as a ritual. It is considered as the last meal as bachelor or spinster.

Dodhi Mangal ceremony: This ceremony is held at the dawn of the wedding day. The family members and close relatives of the bride/groom visit a nearby river or pond where they can fill a pitcher with water and return home. They use this water during the holy snan ritual. After returning home, the would-be bride and groom have curd, rice flakes, banana and sweets in their respective homes as they are expected to fast the whole day till they complete all wedding ceremonies.

Nandi Mukh: This ceremony is performed on the wedding day morning just before the ‘gaye hould’ ceremony. It is performed in both the families. A priest chants Vedic incantations and extended family pay homage to their forefathers. A small puja is performed for the happy married life and seek blessing from their ancestors.

Tattava, Gae Hould and Snan: On the morning of the wedding, both the families send gifts and this ceremony is known as tattva. The groom’s family gift a new saree, oil, a big, decorated carp or rohu fish and some other gifts including jewelry, make-up kit, sweets and other edibles. The would-be-bride is supposed to wear the same saree during ‘gae holud’. The family members applied the turmeric paste on the face, hands and feet of the bride and groom in their respective families and this ceremony is populary known as gae holud in Bengal. Then the bride and groom take bath in the holy water brought in the morning from the river/pond for the snan.

Sankha and Pola: In all Bengali weddings, the brides is supposed to wear conch shell bangles which are red and white in color on the ai budo bhaat and in some families the bride wear these auspicious set of bangles on the wedding day morning after or during the gae hould. The white bangles are known as the sankha and the red bangles are called pola. These bangles are similar to the mangalsutra that a married woman wears in North India.

LoveVivah.com West Bengal matrimony portal gives profiles of brides and grooms for marriage. Search for Aadhaar matchmakings from Bengali matrimonial resumes.

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